Mekkerl,
It is good to see that you rearranging your plan, you have 5 pages of advice here and most of it, I agree with. But, there is one place that I did not see any recommendation.
Rochester (DW is from Albany) is 50+ road hours from GCNP campground. You had that in four days. If your kids aren't killing each other now, after four 10+hour days packed into cab seats, they will be.
You have to figure that a 10~12 hour road day is going to be a very long day (14~16 hours with food, water and fuel stops). If you just shorten the days, it will take a long time to get there. If you break up the long runs with good stops.
I am going to hope that you have done all the day trips from Rochester that we would have done, so I am going to suggest that you get out some travel guides and look up things like:
The Lincoln Museum and Library in Springfield IL
The Museum of Western Expansion in St, Louis (Camp at the casino and take the train over the river)
The Steamboat Arabia Museum in Kansas City, (Parking is a problem)
The Nebraska Archway Museum over I-80. It is OVER the Highway.
The National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum in Oklahoma City
Notice none are in line. This is just a sample and I don't know if you have planned a route. If you can set it up so you get to striking range of the attraction to ONP and then hit it in the morning, wear that kids down and then travel, it works very well. We have used this plan for both our own and now GCs as they come along.
If your 5er can function self-contained, then where you ONP is not a big issue if you have to find FHU parks, it will be tougher but still manageable.
I wish you hours of boring driving and moments of amazement and wonder to cast memories that will last. Take pictures and buy trinkets.
Matt