Your treatment at the border was definitely related to the person you were traveling with. I've crossed the border 100's of times and have only had one serious problem when traveling with a friend with a criminal record, had I known he wouldn't have been in my car it was a massive pain in the ass. Fortunately we didn't have anything with us, but the process was scary we got searched in the US before they turned us back to Canada and we got searched again in Canada.
Buy some "Bear Spray" you can travel with it as long as it is clearly marked as animal repellant.
As far as the "extortion" is concerned I'm inclined to believe that they were informing of the possible fines associated with what you were importing.
99% of all my dealings with border services have been great, they have a tough job. I challenge anyone to do their job for a day, you have 60 seconds to access if a person is a threat all while trying to keep a positive attitude and being friendly. People in general can be difficult, put them in a line of idling cars for an hour waiting to talk to the guy in the booth and you have a lot of potential for things to go wrong.
But feel free to blame Canada, we can take it.