LEAST amount of questions at crossing?

Several years ago, we traveled to Australia to do the Sydney-Hobart Race. As we were going through customs and immigration in Sydney in our US sailing garb, the screening official said: Oh, you're here to take our trophy away from us? I thought, oh no this is going to lead to a cavity search. Fortunately the crew mate that was with me was a senior US customs official and after trading some US patches and badges with her, we passed through without issues. He said that she was amazing and that I had no idea what she was really asking. He wished that he had more employees like her. They're trying to do a great job in difficult times.

I was coming back from Canada into the US at Chief's Mountain near Glacier NP. There were several cars ahead of me, all being searched, with their stuff piled everywhere. Two agents approached me and I thought, oh boy, this is it, as they looked pretty serious. I was car camping and had tons of junk, all very carefully packed to fit into my SUV, as well as three Blue Heelers.

They asked me a couple of questions, then asked if I wanted my passport stamped. I said sure. The stamp was a bear that looked kind of like it was dancing. They started joking around about this silly bear and soon they were goofing off, dancing around the car.

I was shocked. The incongruity was too much for my brain to see these guys dressed like gestapo agents and wearing guns dancing around and cutting up. I was soon laughing, but I think they quickly came to their senses, as they got all stiff again and waved me on.

It was pretty funny in retrospect. Maybe the job was getting to them or it was a long day.

I have the credit card size passport card. The question I get is "what happened to it?" Mine is slightly washed out in color. I have to explain that my wife put it through the washer. The next question was "did she launder your money with it?" The answer to that was yes. One fellow last fall used something to get it clearer. I could get a new one but they need the old one back for that and in the 6-8 week wait I would not be able to visit relatives. I rarely get asked any more than where I live and where I am headed.

Funniest crossing I ever had was when a group of 5 of us from work went to attend a Buffalo Bills game. Myself, in my 30's at the time, two 50-somethings close to retirement and, two of our African-Canadian colleagues.

Coming back, we hit the border, meet a blonde female border agent and present our documents. No offense intended to blondes and/or females. She quickly looks over our documents.

Where you coming from? "Bills game."

Where you going? "Back home to Ottawa."

You from the same family?

I was stunned... I honestly couldn't answer her, just stared. Really not sure if she was trying to be funny or not, so I just couldn't burst out laughing, although I really wanted to.

She looked at us, handed the documents back and just said "I guess not."

I'm positive that she heard us roaring as we drove away...

Depends what border crossing we go through either way. Sweetgrass easy and straight forward for many years, just one "I've got a badge attitude woman" once coming back into Canada that wouldn't believe hubby and I hadn't bought even a shot glass on a brief trip to vegas for a warm up one easter. Every other time coming back North we get couple questions and "Welcome Home", which we love to hear on our return.

Normally heading south into Montana those Border agents are generally OK with sometimes pull over and bring in tomatoes, or eggs or take it at the window and discard = different item every time, so now we take very little and shop in Great Falls after crossing.

Crossing South through BC though, a whole different story and avoid it like the plague - sniffer dogs put on board, making us leave our rig and searching without our presence although we requested to remain which unnerved us as to why they wanted us not to see what they were doing to our property.

Sask' small border crossing headed north we think agent was very lonely and had only seen 7 crossings in the week and they were all on that day, so the motorbikes in front of us were all made to take out everything in their boxes, and then we had the full inspection (took over one half hours to get through what in Sweetgrass would have been 7 mins absolute tops.

Quebec crossing back into Canada wonderful easy and quick in the couple of times we've come through from Florida back home.

It really is luck of the draw, on who you get, who they are trying to impress, and on what day, same with airports. Some confiscate your lunch sandwiches but the majority aren't phased by them when flying No logic, rhyme or reason sometimes to what they do or how they act.

The biggest laugh we have had was crossing from the Yukon into Alaska on the Top of the World highway - the U.S. Border Guard came up to the window and said: "You folks lost?".

Loved it.


Jay

The best question that I was ever asked when coming back into the US: What are bringing back that you shouldn't? I laughed in response to his great question, and he says: That means people too. I congratulated him on the question, without actually answering, and he said: Welcome back. He knew what response he was looking for.

Crossed on Friday with my trailer. Only question was, can I give him the registrations for the truck& trailer because the cameras could not pick them up. No other questions.

The only thing that I ever get questioned about are the stamps (Visas) in my passport from China and Cambodia. They all want to know what I was doing there...as if it had anything to do with crossing the border with an RV or Car.

They are so consumed with this they never ask me anything else.

My reply: I lived there and worked there.

"Ok thanks Have a good trip" the nice ones say. The others just grunt and hand back my passport.

There was the one time, returning to Canada from Haines, Alaska, when one of the Canadian border agents walked over to the driver-side window while the other stood by the passenger-side of the truck holding his firearm in clear view.

Hubby was asked the typical questions, how long were you in Haines, what did you buy, where do you live, etc. The other agent remained standing in position, clearly ready to take aim, which had me perplexed and just a bit concerned.

Then the agent talking to hubby exclaimed, "You're good to go, and don't hit the bear over there."

Sur'nuff. There was a bear at the edge of the customs compound -- phew! That explained the extra enforcement!! We still chuckle about that one!