If you hate crowds, do yourself a favor and skip Estes Park and RMNP. The wife's family started summering there in 1917. The wife grew up there in the summers. She introduced me to EP in 1969. We moved there in 1980 as a young married couple. We spent 31 years exploring darn near every inch of RMNP. We knew the backcountry so well we didn't carry a map or GPS. Until the mid 1990s or so, it was easy to get away from the crowds. The town really didn't wake up until July 4 and died on Labor Day. Fall except for the weekends was a magical time of colors and beautiful weather.
We lived there for 31 years. The Park's infrastructure is so overwhelmed that they shut down Bear Lake Road to private traffic on almost a daily basis. Even the shuttle system get overwhelmed and runs out of space. People park where they please, leave TP and trash everywhere. Solitude has been replaced with honking horns and road rage. Unless you can hike a minimum of 5-10 miles each way, you will not find any solitude.
The town is total gridlock and chaos. We left in 2010 after retiring because of the overcrowding and cost of living. We do go back every summer to see friends. Thank goodness we have a cabin on the outskirts of town rather than having to stay at any of the campgrounds.
Do yourself a favor and take a look at Buena Vista, Leadville, Lake City, etc. There are some to boondock with a Jeep or 4WD where you will find beauty and solitude. We know places to camp and hike where we will see less than a handful of people or none at all.
I'm not saying that RMNP is not one of the crown jewels of the NP system. It is just hard to sit your horizon high enough to find peace and solitude.