I get it...there does need to be a plan for WHEN we no longer do this. Since hubby has been dealing with 5 hour drives to rescue his parents when help doesn't show up (along with his siblings taking turns), he is adement that we be near our children (which is ny state but one is in AZ/off grid...too hot). So we have decided that we will eventually settle there and build a small house.
We are 65 and 66 and in fairly good shape...although his knees have been a problem for many years (like age 30!) and I suspect we will be okay until at least age 75 but that gives us a number to go buy...thank you. I asked him, what about living in our kids driveway forever...he's like a nope.
And yes, if one of us drops dead, things will change dramatically and no one wants to have "OH ****" moments and to scurry around.
The good part for our kids is that we can be of help now (babysitting and help with diy stuff) and we are getting rid of our stuff NOW so they don't have to do it. One son is receiving a lot of it toolwise.
Thank you for this perspective...which I probably needed more than hubby.