Well OP,
I didn't even bother reading all the responses but, I'm wondering WHY you bought the coach in the first place? I mean, if you're that anxious and or uneasy or even PARANOID about EVERYTHING there is to be worried about concerning loading, driving and more with the RV, then why own it? Sounds to me as if you'd maybe be not only be mentally better off but physically too (since you state you're physically exhausted at the end of a drive and or during a drive).
It sounds and reads as if you're not happy with this lifestyle. And, since RVing is not a manditory activity in life, you're not forced to do it, then, give it up.
Now, on the other hand, if you feel that you'd really like to keep going and improve on your feelings, all the way around, well, then the only advice I can convey is, keep doing it, over and over and over again 'till it's second nature. The more you do it, the more at ease you'll get with every phase of it. Your choice.
Scott