You are making it too hard. Here's how I make it.
Cut larger pieces of fat off bones. Combine in large pot: ham bone, pound of split peas, large onion cut up, 3 or 4 peeled carrots cut about 2" long, tsp or so whole peppercorns, couple of bay leaves. Cover with water. Bring to boil, reduce to slow simmer. Stir every 20 or 30 minutes. After an hour or two the peas will turn to a smooth mush and this is when it starts to stick so be careful and stir more often. I take the bone out, let it cool, and cut the meat off. Stir soup and pick out any fat or gristle you can find. Put ham back in soup.
