I finally found a local shop that uses a hand torque wrench to finish the lug nuts. They have a chart on the wall, and as I watched the mechanics all dutifully walked over to the chart and looked up the proper torque for the vehicle they were working on. No relying on memory, they actually looked it up. They also replace all rubber valve stems with metal without my asking, and use metal caps instead of the cheap plastic ones. This shop is a keeper.
Unfortunately, they do not three-step the torque like the manual recommends. So when I get home I redo them myself.
An old-time grizzled mechanic once told me an overtorqued nut will loosen before a properly torqued one will. I have not tested that theory, but it sounds logical. As a bolt distorts from over tightening, not all threads will be fully in contact with the nut.