As a fellow veteran with a service connected hearing disability I can relate to both sides of this discussion. For the record most of the newer hearing aids come with Bluetooth capability where incoming phone conversation comes directly into your hearing aids(assuming you are not a fool that has them and simply does not wear them).
With this feature you can also get a transmitter that will broadcast TV/music directly to your hearing aids eliminating the need for a excessive volume. Your spouse will love this feature more than you will ever know. By hearing clearly through your hearing aids your need/tendency to speak with excessive volume will be greatly reduced.
About the only folks that can truly appreciate the frustration/aggravation of being hearing impaired is the spouse/significant other. It is a handicap and like most handicaps, one that I would not wish on anyone. It is nice when folks cut us a little slack as annoying someone else is simply not what we were intending to do.
As always.... Opinions and YMMV
:C