A nice nearly new Newmar was backing into a space just across from me. He and the wife have wireless mikes and earphones so there is a lot of communication between them both by voice and by arm movements (and the slamming of the tranny into reverse and drive and extremely jerky movements).He has little problem getting into the space which is nice and wide but works very hard at getting his MH across the space in the opposite direction that it should be in. It has a patio so its a no-brainer. But, he's kinda straddling a corner of the patio. This goes on for about 15 minutes and there was a lot of hand waving and yelling besides the communication devices. Now he's on his belly, crawling under the MH to insert the dump end of the sewer hose into the sewer inlet. Its about 2' under the MH at this point. He has a FMCA number that is not nearly a new one so I'm assuming this isn't his first rodeo...maybe the number plate came with the MH? Who knows. I feel a bit like a jerk for not pointing out some of the obvious things that would simplify his parking and utility hookups but he doesn't look like the type that would see my effort as intended...more like an intrusion.

Likely best to do just as you did.I might watch from a short distance so that he could see me. If he initiated contact then I could probably determine if he might be open to casual comments about such things. Better that than to step in and point out his mistakes.If he did not speak then I would just disappear back to my site.

I think you should have let it alone just like you did. If they wanted help they could have asked for it. If you jump in without being asked then you are just being a know-it-all busy body. There is a fine line between being helpful and being nosy.

I always feel if someone needs help and I am visible, that someone will ask for help. Otherwise, I mind my own business. I know I have a certain procedure that I follow when hooking up.

If someone asks for help or someone is going to get hurt, otherwise I stay out of it.

I usually go and ask the wife if she thinks he'll yell at me if I help him get parked. If she laughs then all is good and she says "he's all yours". If she does not laugh then I say sorry to intrude and walk away. Rarely do I walk away. In these situations a little humor goes a long way with most people.

At what point do you step in and offer help? | Good Sam Community

ependydad
Explorer
Dec 20, 2013
jmtandem wrote:
His wife kept running up to the passenger window to give instructions.

That is the first red flag that all will not go well. They should have planned the execution together and then followed the plan. Her running to the passenger window fixed nothing, only made it worse. Spotters need to know their job and not try to drive the truck. Driving the truck is not their job-- they don't have a steering wheel in their hands!!!! Maybe that should be evident. Guess not.

That's your opinion. My wife and I work well- she tells me which way the back of the trailer needs to go and I work to do it. We often meet at my door or back at the back of the camper to talk things through.

I can do (and have done) it alone- but having her is a nice crutch.

To each his own. Love, peace and hair grease. And all that jazz.
DiskDoctr
Explorer
Dec 20, 2013
Veebyes wrote:

There comes a point where I would jump in quick. I am not about to let somebody do damage because of their inability & me not saying something.

Pure wisdom right there!

There is a fine line between an insult and assistance. But NEVER let any one or any thing be hurt.

Worst case YOU end up with a few words thrown your way. They melt away quickly.

On the other hand, many late comments can only be fixed with paint, metal, money, etc ;)

Try not to let our cynical side overrun our 'Love Thy Neighbor' side!
TexasShadow
Explorer II
Dec 20, 2013
it took us a few years to get our act together, but DH and I have learned how to do the job without riling each other.
jmtandem
Explorer II
Dec 20, 2013
His wife kept running up to the passenger window to give instructions.

That is the first red flag that all will not go well. They should have planned the execution together and then followed the plan. Her running to the passenger window fixed nothing, only made it worse. Spotters need to know their job and not try to drive the truck. Driving the truck is not their job-- they don't have a steering wheel in their hands!!!! Maybe that should be evident. Guess not.
Gunship_Guy
Explorer
Dec 20, 2013
A couple months ago I watched a guy with a 5th wheel backing into the site a few down from ours. He was having the hardest time.

His wife kept running up to the passenger window to give instructions. The more this happened the harder he'd shift between reverse and drive, really jerking the trailer around. Frustration was thick in the air.

Not helping was the driver in a car behind him who kept inching closer and closer impatiently waiting to get by.
ependydad
Explorer
Dec 20, 2013
I've been offered helped a handful of times and not once have I been offended by the offer. Sometimes I took it, sometimes I didn't. Once I said no and they did it anyway (and, at the end of the day- I was thankful for it).

In each case, the person approached with a smile and a kind word. I don't have much of an ego- so there is no bruising of my ego when they offered help.

Now, I'm fairly positive that I wouldn't let some Joe RV'r drive or park my setup. I'd change sites or something long before that. I did let the RV Tech at my dealer do it the day I picked it up.

Nor do I think I'd ever sit in someone's truck and park it for them. But give a yelp before they hit something, sure. Even offer to be a spotter- sure.

Heck, I just did that this afternoon at the waste dump w/ a guy backing his pickup truck up.
Dog_Folks
Explorer
Dec 20, 2013
Removed by Dog Folks.

Not going to debate with someone that thinks anyone offering help another camper is, and I quote: "Another know it all..."

Must be hard to be that perfect.
oilslick
Explorer
Dec 20, 2013
We've been Rving many years and NEVER offer help parking, but jump if asked for help.
Wadcutter
Nomad
Dec 20, 2013
Dog Folks wrote:
Wadcutter wrote:
Just what everyone wants to see after driving all day. Another know-it-all who thinks he can do everything better than everyone else sticking his nose in where he's not invited.

Wow. The next time I see you backing into a tree, or leaving with your antenna up, I promise to keep my mouth shut.

Don't hold your breath waiting.
And not hardly the same as sticking your nose into where it's not asked. But I'm sure you're an expert at backing someone else's rig that you've never driven before. Would you trust some stranger you've never met who just walked up back your rig? Yeah right. The world is full of half-wit hooligans who are barely able to walk and chew gum. And you think someone else would let you back their rig? Not hardly.
If they want your "expert opinion" they'll ask for it.
Vulcaneer
Explorer
Dec 20, 2013
I look at it this way. When I am up to my ears in a real mess, and totally screwed up and confused, the last thing I want is someone telling me how stupid I am.

Even if they are not telling me I am stupid, but being very helpful, I interpret their offer of help as telling me just how stupid I am. Then, when I am fed up and ready to kill myself, I go ask for help. Because, when I ask for help, that is the smart thing to do. And if I am smart by asking for help, I cannot be that stupid.

So I think others are the same way. And I stay available, but not in their business. They are working thru it at their own pace. And in their own way.

Does any of that make any sense? It works for me, tho.

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At what point do you step in and offer help?

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