I agree with Rhoda, those of us who sent our children to daycare don't deserve that attitude from those who don't. As to daycare, I am not sure that your challenge is any worse than people who move every 2-3 years for career reasons, or even parents that stay put and are trying to make the decision.
I would consider if there are daycare centers sponsored by churches, they seem to be a bit different in attitude from strictly profit driven daycare. The other option is to consider a daycare that is part of a regional chain -- although they are more strict in some of their rules (like their description of sick and when a child can stay), they do have the stricter requirements of their employees too.
Good luck in your search, and remember you aren't alone. Lots of moms in the area you are in are trying to make the same decision.