I've been in the lane that's ending up to the merge point, and I've been in the lane that's backed up as the mergers try to get in. IMO, I really don't care what the guy in the next lane is doing as long as everyone is moving along safely. If I merged early, I made my decision to merge a mile early, so if you try to merge in at the merge point, I really don't care; I'll be courteous and let you in. If I'm in the ending lane and I can't find a good spot to merge, I'm not going to stop just because your lane is stopped, and hold up the long line of cars behind me, but rather I crawl slowly closer toward the merge point and merge in the first chance I get. Unfortunately, a lot of the times the people in the open lane are tailgating so tightly and are being jerks too, so you have no choice but to keep moving forward until there's a good opening closer to the merge point.
Thue truckers blocking 2 lanes are illegally policing traffic...That does annoy me. I'd much rather deal with 2 slow lanes that merge at the "zipper" as someone else referred to here.
The OP's accident was caused by excessive speed and negligent driving, not because of the merge itself.