1) Use common sense- every situation is different.
2) I tend to pull up to the first pump I come to and an outside one if possible (leaving the camper hanging behind me (and being sure I don't block the cross traffic))- but more importantly- leaving the pump ahead available for someone else to use...this sometimes forces me to back out.
3) Repeating #1 this does not always work.
4) I have very few 'traumatic' fueling experiences (27 ft TT) and rarely worry.
5) No argument- there are some tight stations in existence, but plenty of roomy ones too.