Leaving kids unattended in RV all day?

davosfam wrote:

toedtoes wrote:

davosfam wrote:
Have to say that I am surprised at all the responses here. Usually everyone on this board is quick to think the worst and I'm thinking to myself "what's the big deal". :h

But with this, I am worried that she isn't working but is off drinking or doing drugs. And if that's the case, she needs to be reported.

To the OP: Please come back and give us more info.

I don't think a woman should be looked at as a potential druggie or alcoholic (or child abuser or neglector) simply because she leaves her kids home alone for a set period of time during the day. I think she deserves the benefit of the doubt unless there are other factors involved. The OP has not indicated any other concerns with this woman - simply that the kids are alone during the day while she's at work.

There's no reason the OP can't keep an eye out for other signs, etc., but to rush into calling authorities is just going to make like harder for the woman and her kids - based on nothing but a prejudicial judgment that because she leaves them home alone during the day (when it's been indicated she's working), she must be doing other things wrong and the kids are in danger.

Except they aren't being left at home. They're being left in a RV. I'm not saying that the OP should rush to call the authorities. That's why I was hoping for more info from the OP. If it seems as if drugs/alcohol are at play here and that is why she is leaving them alone, then the authorities should be called.

I was raised by a single mom and was a latch key kid too. I'm glad everyone is giving her the benefit of the doubt but it worries me that they are being left alone in a RV at a campground.

If she is not traveling but instead, living in that RV park, then that RV is definitely her HOME. It's no different than living in an apartment. In fact, I think it would be safer with neighbors being able to see what's going on.

I think one could tell a lot by being an observer. What happens in the evening when the mother is home? Does she go out again? Do you ever see her with the children outside or taking a walk? Is there fighting/yelling going on? Does she get a lot of visitors?

If the OP is going to stay in that park for a while - say a month, then he could easily get to know the children. If something was wrong there were be a good chance that they would let something slip. I would hope that the OP has a wife to join in on conversations otherwise, HE himself might be questioned by other neighbors for spending too much time with the children. :)

Unless you can see that something is definitely wrong with the children or if there's a lot of fighting/yelling when she's home, I wouldn't call authorities. She may not be able to afford help and it would be terrible to tear the children away from her for no reason other than being left alone during the day. Many children that age do so.

wnjj wrote:



Actually, in most states there is no law against this, Washington State included:

Washington DSHS wrote:
There is no federal or Washington state law regarding the age when children may stay home alone or baby-sit.

https://www.dshs.wa.gov/sesa/office-communications/media-release/home-alone-when-can-you-safely-leave-children-themselves

If you read the entire article noted above, you will see that this situation does violate the CPS "guidelines" if CPS gets involved she -will- be in world of hurt.

I suspect I would start with talking to her, the park staff and some neighbors. Insure you know the situation. I can tell you for a fact that CPS can have no humor in a situation like this

fj12ryder wrote:
My wife worked for Social Services for many years, and her opinion was that only involve Social Services when really necessary. She's seen first hand what can happen. Once Social Services gets involved it can get really messy.

I had a situation I was concerned about once, in our S&B neighborhood. Talked to a family friend who worked for social services and she said the same thing: 'Those kids could easily end up in a foster home that is much, much worse than where they are now.'

I've got kids that were more than ready to stay at home for extended periods of time at that age, and I and several of us were latch key kids at ages much younger than that. We had back then and I had with my kids rules, even about cooking (microwave/toaster fine, stove bad), but why the difference that it's in an RV verses a sticks and bricks? They're not driving it. Have you seen the places that many struggling single parents have to live just so that they can afford it? I say that RV park is probably a better place than where she could be. And obviously every kid is different, but maturity is not always age dependent. The boy stated that he has to stay inside, and if he's doing that then he's not causing any trouble and he's following his moms rules, so I guess I don't see this as an issue at all unless there was obvious neglect, but just leaving kids home alone during the day is not neglect. Half the country has to do that when school is out.

My concern would be that even if you start questioning the Park people, I haven't been to a park that doesn't have some sort of rule on not supervising your children (even though this rule is intended to keep kids from running wild), and then what wouldn't have been a problem at all, is now a problem that wasn't needed as the kids where being good and staying inside.

I love the fact that most of these posts have been supportive of the mother, but until the OP has been able to get to know the family, WITHOUT being intrusive, we won't know the whole situation, and knowing that we as RV'ers move around too much, that probably won't have time to happen.

davosfam wrote:
Have to say that I am surprised at all the responses here. Usually everyone on this board is quick to think the worst and I'm thinking to myself "what's the big deal". :h

But with this, I am worried that she isn't working but is off drinking or doing drugs. And if that's the case, she needs to be reported.

To the OP: Please come back and give us more info.

Most people do their partying at night.

If she's leaving and coming home at about the same times every day, she's probably going to work.

It seems the kids are ok and if they don't look neglected I would say let the mother know you would be glad to help if needed but I bet she has that taken care of already. I have seen family's split up by authorities when the parent was doing all they could and was making it because people could not MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS. I could not live with the fact I split up a happy family. If you don't know there are problems, stay out of it other than to help them.
Working with our local child abuse council here I have seen authorities do much more harm than good at times.

I'd first talk with the mom. If you don't have the guts...that's on you.

If mom is completely reluctant to talk, the police should then be called in to figure it out.

Let me be clear...calling the police phone call is the absolute last option.

Every option to understand the situation should be tried, but if something happens to one of those kids, while you watched and did nothing...your are partially to blame and have to live with that.

davosfam wrote:

toedtoes wrote:

davosfam wrote:
Have to say that I am surprised at all the responses here. Usually everyone on this board is quick to think the worst and I'm thinking to myself "what's the big deal". :h

But with this, I am worried that she isn't working but is off drinking or doing drugs. And if that's the case, she needs to be reported.

To the OP: Please come back and give us more info.

I don't think a woman should be looked at as a potential druggie or alcoholic (or child abuser or neglector) simply because she leaves her kids home alone for a set period of time during the day. I think she deserves the benefit of the doubt unless there are other factors involved. The OP has not indicated any other concerns with this woman - simply that the kids are alone during the day while she's at work.

There's no reason the OP can't keep an eye out for other signs, etc., but to rush into calling authorities is just going to make like harder for the woman and her kids - based on nothing but a prejudicial judgment that because she leaves them home alone during the day (when it's been indicated she's working), she must be doing other things wrong and the kids are in danger.

Except they aren't being left at home. They're being left in a RV. I'm not saying that the OP should rush to call the authorities. That's why I was hoping for more info from the OP. If it seems as if drugs/alcohol are at play here and that is why she is leaving them alone, then the authorities should be called.

I was raised by a single mom and was a latch key kid too. I'm glad everyone is giving her the benefit of the doubt but it worries me that they are being left alone in a RV at a campground.

We don't know what type of place it is. It could be a seasonal campground. It could be a trailer park/RV park combo. It could be an RV park with some permanent residents. Many people live in RVs because they can't afford anything else - do we accuse her of doing drugs because she can't afford a home?

I do understand the concern, but I don't think it's a black & white decision based solely on the facts we have (OP was told kids are left home alone during the day while mom works).

If the OP sees signs of danger, neglect, etc., then they should do what they feel necessary. But simply living in an RV park and not being able to afford childcare does not make a person a drug addict and a bad mom.

This is very hard to write because I see both sides. I would hate to get a mom in trouble that's trying to support her children, but...

...at 9 and 7 they are too young to be left alone. I'm particularly sensitive to this because at the age of 7 (just post WWII) my mother was left to care for her 5 and 2-year old brothers. She was trying to cook, spilled hot oil all over herself and ran from the house screaming. The house caught fire from the open flame and the oil on the stove, her youngest brother died and not only did she have physical scars but psychologically she was very damaged, as was my grandmother.

You need to ask yourself if you can handle it if either of those kids get hurt, thinking you might have been able to prevent it. And just think what the mother would be going through. I agree with Jeff-although it's not your business I think he's correct in suggesting you talk to the mom. Don't be judgmental, but ask if there's anything you can do to help. Make sure it's concern and not condemnation.

I will say I'm absolutely floored by the support for the mom-in a good way. There have been so many negative posts lately that this thread has been a breath of fresh air.

In old times the family would take care of the young ones, in today's society where the families are all over the country, there are situations where a mother is left with the kids by total jerks for fathers, if this woman is trying to do right by those children, we should learn from the Native American's that would take a widowed mother into the fold of the tribe and help her raise the kids.

Unfortunately some authorities can not see beyond the tip of the nose and immediately go into jerk mode and aggravate the precarious situation instead of helping, they only destroy what little family life there is, and then wonder why there are so many foster children an mothers in jail?

Learn what this woman has gone trough and what she wants for the children and give her the support that a caring parent needs instead of making the situation worse by calling CPS, if there is neglect or abuse then call.

navegator