There are so many things I don't understand

I have never thought the man offering to help spot me thought I was incompetent. I assume he knows that there are trees to avoid and I have a gigantic blind spot. I've offered the exact same help to men having a hard time getting into a spot.

rjf7g wrote:

Old-Biscuit wrote:
Last time I offered a 'extra set of eyes' cause site was 'tight' I got chewed out by lady driver......she had been a bus driver for 20+ years.

As a "lady driver," I have to say that I am offered help quite a lot - mostly backing up a trailer. I can do that just fine, thank you. So many times, it seems as if men are assuming incompetence and most women are quick to say, "I could never do that," feeding in to the assumption of incompetence.

I can't speak for all men, but when I offer assistance it's not because of any perceived inability on the part of the driver.
I think that, "Hey, do you want a hand backing up?" is fairly universal.
"Want me to back that big ol' trailer up for you, little miss?" would be assuming incompetence because of gender bias. :)

rjf7g wrote:


I don't know what helpful men can say without sounding corny - "Hey, you look like you know what you're doing but I figure everyone needs help sometime - if you need help while I am around, just holler" . I don't know...heck, I watched a guy with a 3500HD Duramax Dually spend what seemed like an hour trying to back a boat trailer down a ramp I hit the first time...I was hesitant to offer assistance and felt guilty after. I wasn't sure what to say...

Deb here: I'm pretty darn good at backing things up; and Ed and I have a good system of hand signals that usually gets whatever we're pulling parked quickly with a minimum of hassle. But when I've been by myself, I've accepted offers of "an extra set of eyes". I simply ask them to yell stop if I'm about to hit something (and assuming they're not already RVers, I'll point out tail swing and height issues that might crop up).

I DID have a moment, decades ago, while preparing to back a trailer for a tricky and tight shot tub delivery, when an inebriated "helper" said he "wanted to watch the Chick back up the trailer". My first inclination was to say "Bend over and I'll show you where I can back a trailer!" - but better judgement ruled and I simply said "one shot" and put the trailer within inches of the deck the spa was going on..... Realistically, that little snowmobile trailer was a LOT harder to back up than any RV we've ever had....LOL!

I never spontaneously offer help anymore. Too many rude people, plus I don't need the added liability. If someone has a rig that they can't back into a site, then I think Darwin should take over.

I watched a neighbor (with a new-to-him Monaco) try to use his slide locks to lock the slide OUT. I didn't say anything because I didn't want the first conversation to start with "You're doing it all wrong". Just before I left, I did ask him if he ever got the slide locks figured out, and he admitted that he didn't. It wasn't till then that I mentioned that the lock was for preventing the slide from sliding out.

More recently, a couple pulled into the spot behind us with what was apparently and new class B (temp plates, took 3 tries to get the water connected to the correct place). I just nodded a hello and mentioned that it looked like a brand new rig and went about my business. The next morning it was apparent that they spent a very cold night, so I casually asked if every was working and one of the ladies admitted that they were afraid to run the heat, or even to turn on the propane for hot water. I spent the next half hour showing them how to turn on systems and giving them web sites and apps to look into to make life on the road easier.

nickthehunter wrote:
That reminds me of a similar question I have always wondered about. Maybe some one here can answer it for me: Why do some people feel the need to make fun of others; and then, just for an extra good measure - post it on an internet forum?

And how does one consider it to be "entertaining" to see other people's misfortunes? Do they think the driver deserves to have trouble because they didn't accept the offer of help? They probably think they're superstars for having offered help but to then be "entertained" by ensuing problems shows what they really are made of. This "pulling up a chair" stuff really takes the cake. Probably the same people who constantly pass judgment on the younger generation.

When it comes right down to it, how do you judge the ability of the stranger offering help? Many a time I've had campground employees "position" me only to have to re-position the trailer myself anyway.

If I need help, I ask for it. Some people are too stubborn to ask

We have a pull thru reserved at Lake Louisa State Park (Clermont, FL) for March 2017 but we know we will have to back in due to the location of the trees. The site is big enough for our rig so we will be fine once we back it.

It takes no effort to offer assistance. It takes no effort to decline the offer. DH and I always offer. More often than not, the offer is gratefully acknowledged and usually our help is accepted. DH says he was always thankful someone offered him help when he was in need. I always spot for him, but I cannot see everything. We take no offense when the offer is declined - even when not done in a way we find kind or appreciative. Sometimes stress opens the door to rudeness without intent. We will continue to offer and we do not become an audience after offer is made. There have been times when we were initially turned down and then asked to help. Always happy to do so. RVing is supposed to help alleviate stress in one's life, not create more!

In defense, the most stressful time I have camping is backing into a site. In my mind I'm thinking I got to get off the road, I need to be somewhat straight, I don't want to hit anything.....I got to get off the road... and everybody is watching. And through all of this my wife is the spotter and does a great job.

In a local state park the pull through sites on the perimeter are hard to get into because of the sites' layout, such a immoveable tables, power pedestals, trees---lots of trees, what were they thinking? The last time I tried I ended up having to back in.

That reminds me of a similar question I have always wondered about. Maybe some one here can answer it for me: Why do some people feel the need to make fun of others; and then, just for an extra good measure - post it on an internet forum?