What a difficult decision. I know how you feel. She may live to be 100 and if so, God Bless her. However you only are young enough to travel once. Many elderly parents feel "abandoned" when children move away for jobs or decide to full time. Make sure your husband explains how important this is to him and the reasons you are considering it (his declining ability). I think once you make the decision she will want what's best for you. Call her often and check in with the other sibling and the care provider to make sure she is doing well. You are right, you can fly home if an emergency arises.
