My dad's attitude was that he gave us everything he could when he raised us, and now that we were adults, it was time for everybody to live their own lives, stand on their own feet, make their own decisions, and deal with their own consequences. He was roundly critcized for his coldness by the other 3 parents and some of the children, who wanted a different relationship. He was also the only one that we truly enjoyed being around. DH enjoyed camping and fishing trips with him and we invited him to live with us when his health got bad. He initially accepted, but kept putting off actually selling his own house and moving in until he died. He was a skilled cabinet maker and DH was looking forward to learning from him.
He never tried to smother us or live thru us or demand our loyalty in petty squabbles or guilt trip us or whatever else manipulative parents do. We were all adults and friends. The relationships with the other 3 feels more like an obligation and a burden. I understand that others experiences are not the same as ours.
