We have just retired. Our house will be on the market in a few weeks and we plan to hit the road. The only real problem is my husband's mother. She is 91, in an excellent assisted living facility, and suffers from macular degeneration. Other than that, tho, she's actually healthier than my husband is. On one hand, if we don't grab the next few years for our RV dream, we may never get to do it at all. On the other hand, she is very angry at being "abandoned" and wants us to wait "until she's gone" before we sell the house and travel. We have pointed out that our son and his family are less than 3 miles away, that she does have another son she can move closer to, that we will still call regularly, that we can be on a plane back here within hours, and that my husband's health is deteriorating, but she is still upset.How have others dealt with this?

Yuup we have and my advice is GO!

Go. She is trying to cling onto her child no matter what age he is. As we get older we have a hard time adapting to change.

Old people don't like change. Of course she is going to say don't go. Go. This is your retirement. I'm sure you will go back home if she takes a turn or whatnot. It isn't like you are going to disappear. Reassure her that she has people around to take care of her and issues and then go and enjoy yourself.

Start your travels closer to home.....circling out away, as time goes on, so that she becomes used to longer and longer spells without you near by.I would think, that your mother would really not want you to ruin your lives because of her...and while that is a bit of an exaggeration, that is what she is asking. You yourself said that it may very well be that you only have the next couple of years, and that you won't be living until you and DH are in your 90's....and of course, you wouldn't be traveling as much then either.Depending on your RV, and your abilities, you may even want to take Mom on a trip with you for a week or so, to show her what you are doing.Good luck.....and I, like everyone else, suggest you live your own lives, and hit the road! Guilt is brutal, but it's not a real chain that can hold you to your house!

Torn between full time RVing and aging parents.

Jay_Pat
Explorer
Nov 28, 2013
Maybe you can "do both"!
I'm guessing there is plenty for you and your hubby to see in Florida. Go out for a week and return for a few days. Let the trips duration slowly, increase.
If she can't read, hopefully a friend could read letters you could send her. Telling what you have seen. Take pictures. They are easy to add to a computer typed letter. Tell her about the people you meet. All while swinging by to visit for a few days ever so often.

Call her as often as you do now.
I'm sure there may be plenty of other ideas. Just some to get you started.
Going for a "everyone wins!!
Wish you the best!!
Pat
PapPappy
Explorer
Nov 28, 2013
Start your travels closer to home.....circling out away, as time goes on, so that she becomes used to longer and longer spells without you near by.

I would think, that your mother would really not want you to ruin your lives because of her...and while that is a bit of an exaggeration, that is what she is asking. You yourself said that it may very well be that you only have the next couple of years, and that you won't be living until you and DH are in your 90's....and of course, you wouldn't be traveling as much then either.

Depending on your RV, and your abilities, you may even want to take Mom on a trip with you for a week or so, to show her what you are doing.

Good luck.....and I, like everyone else, suggest you live your own lives, and hit the road! Guilt is brutal, but it's not a real chain that can hold you to your house!
Spleenstomper
Explorer
Nov 28, 2013
Old people don't like change. Of course she is going to say don't go.

Go. This is your retirement. I'm sure you will go back home if she takes a turn or whatnot. It isn't like you are going to disappear. Reassure her that she has people around to take care of her and issues and then go and enjoy yourself.
Crowe
Explorer
Nov 28, 2013
Go.
donn0128
Explorer II
Nov 28, 2013
Go. She is trying to cling onto her child no matter what age he is. As we get older we have a hard time adapting to change.
SWD
Explorer
Nov 28, 2013
Yuup we have and my advice is GO!

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