Forum Discussion
toedtoes
Jan 23, 2017Explorer III
rk911 wrote:
the vast majority of homeless are that way due to either mental illness or alcoholism/substance abuse, sometimes both. at night in a lonely parking lot I'm going to assume the worst and not engage. in daylight it may be a different story.
I've been approached on three different occasions by folks claiming one thing or another and seeking money to remedy the situation...twice for gas money to get home to a funeral and once by a man with a little girl seeking money for a meal. in all cases I offered to either fill their vehicle with gas or take them into a local restaurant to buy them a meal. in all cases they refused and asked for the money instead...which I refused to give. I reported each case to management or the police.
The times I have been approached for money for a meal and I happened to have food in my possession at that moment, I gave the food to the person. In both cases, they were very grateful and I saw them a few moments later eating the food (in one case, the young man was sharing it with his dog).
I wonder if there is a difference between offering them food that you already have and offering to take them to get a meal. I suspect from comments made by many people (not pointing this at you, just the differences make me think of this) that they would be very dictatorial about what they would agree to buy the hungry person - and with a little girl in tow who could be a picky eater (even hungry kids can refuse to eat something they haven't eaten before), it might not be worth the risk accepting you on the offer. Or maybe they've been lectured, preached at, etc., when folks have offered to "take them to get a meal".
My rule of thumb on giving to panhandlers is that I do not try to control them with my generosity. If I feel the urge to give to them, I'll give them what I have on hand (whether money or food I just bought). What they do with it is up to them. If I felt enough to give it to them in the first place, then I walk away believing that they did with it what was best for them.
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