That is amazingly thoughtful of you, Chuck. I haven't lost a spouse, either, but have lost an adult child and other close relatives. Years ago, I was working at a government office when a family appeared at my window. One of them explained that their dad had recently died and he had left them this checklist of things they needed to do after he passed. One of them was to transfer the names on some vehicle titles. I looked at the list and said, "That is the most thoughtful and loving thing I have ever seen. your dad must have been quite a guy." The young man smiled with just a trace of a tear and said, "Yes, yes he was." His sister said, "See, I told you you could do this and not fall apart."
So I say, get yourself a little notebook and make the list, but also include little chores around the house that need doing in different seasons. And what kind of items to stock up on for the winter, How to open that tricky padlock, that kind of thing. Then I'd hope you leave her a sealed envelope, not to be opened until after your service, in which you tell her some personal memories of special times and tell her how much she meant to you as a life partner, and thank her. Your words, of course, whatever fits for you. That letter will be treasured, I guarantee it. It's something only you can do. Bless your heart for making us all think about being in your shoes, because one day we will be. You're a good man.
