The issue is resolved.
I'd bought a can of CRC electronics cleaner locally, and in combination with a sewing needle, was able to clean All the old dielectric grease from the sockets of the newly acquired junkyard connectors. I really got them super clean inside and out, along with the wire pigtails and was able to inspect them closely.
There are 2 spring arms inside each socket which grasp the Pins tightly. I was able to rebend these inward to increase pressure, and on some of them, this clear thin material flaked off these spring pressure arms of the junkyard connectors.
Perhaps it was hardened dielectric grease, or something else, but I spent more time making sure that each socket was devoid of this mystery clear flakey substance.
The wire insulation on the pigtails was sandwiched within the plastic connector end, and some small splits in the insulation adjacent to plastic revealed shiny copper under a strong light on a few of the wires. I used liquid electrical tape over the base of the connector upto 3/4 inch up the wires. Many layers applied hours apart over 18 hours to both Seal the insulation and act as stress relief.
There were no thinner wires in junkyard connector than stock connector. Only one wire was of different color than stock, and this wire was a gauge or two thicker than Stock. So no concerns in this regard.
I soldered the new connector in, one wire at a time, and used 2 layers of unequal length heat shrink, after wiping off flux residue from wires and solder with 91% rubbing alcohol.
When I was done, the UPS truck had yet to arrive with my reman'd ECM, and for grins I plugged the new connector into my Existing ECM. I expected to be able to put pressure on either side of connector base and stall engine, but it was not to be. I wiggled connector, push/pull, side to side, up and down, all around, and engine never hiccupped.
I turned it off, did key dance to check computer codes, and the 8 year long existing code 53( internal PCM fault detected) was gone.
So all along it was the connector. I am a fool for not attending to this long ago.
When the UPS truck with my Reman'd ECM arrived, I plugged that in, and it started the engine, and it ran fine, but the Check engine light Illuminated, and the key dance revealed a code 27, for a Fuel injector. So it is going back as a defective product.
I rebent the arms on the sockets. Blasted connector and socket again with a little more CRC QED cleaner and applied undiluted
Stabilant 22 contact enhancer, that I already had, to both pins and barrels.
I would have loved to have had the Caig products on hand, but money's running low, and they are not cheap, and the Stabilant 22 is supposed to be a dang good product too, and I already had it, and more importantly, was able to find it.
I reseated the connector, and put a 4 inch narrow extension tip on my new tube of Dielectric grease, and filled any air voids between connector and connector receptacle with dielectric grease to seal out air and moisture, but there is no dielectric grease between the electrical contacts, only around the exterior of the connector.
The wires for this connector are now a few inches longer than previous, and I have used some zip ties to secure them out of the way with no stress on the connector, but still have a few Ideas to implement to keep any gravity, or airflow assisted rain water from reaching wires or connector.
So hopefully the ECM seller through Amazon does not give me a hassle returning the defective ECM.
I still want to send my original ECM somewhere to be rebuilt to have as a backup. My currently functional one is a remanufactured one. I really do not want to have to disconnect the connectors to test a backup but it will be required to test, and perhaps at that time I can use the Caig products.
But for now I don't have to worry about random stalling at speed.