Bump to the top for those who wanted to know.
Took it to the trans shop today and they checked it out. Talked to the owner, who was at least 70, been in trans business probably since auto trans was "new". He was explaining things in detail way over my head, but the summation was that unless we can get it to go into fault and stay there, and unless we can drop the pan with certainty as to what we're looking for, I need to keep driving it until either something definitive happens, or my wallet gets to fat. At this point, there's nothing wrong that they can see and it's probably pointless to tear it apart until there is.
He did bring up the same code my other mechanic found and said he's seen solenoid wires crack or break which might cause the intermittant issue I'm seeing. I was curious to know why, if that was the case, doesn't it do it at other times during normal driving? Only when I'm pulling the trailer up a hill and running it hard. He said hard to know. Could be the solenoid isn't flowing enough of a leak during normal driving to show a code. He claims it won't hurt anything by driving it the way it is even if the code comes on.
For now, if the code comes up and stays up, then bring it in. Otherwise, don't worry about it. AND, the visit today was FOC! Even though I'd like to find the problem and get it fixed, this at least gave me a level of peace of mind. Maybe it'll never come up again. Maybe it'll puke parts all over the pavement next week. I'm done worrying about it in any case, for now.