Good questions......
This will be my wife and I's first RV. I grew up with a 30' Pace Arrow when I was a kid, but since, we've only tent camped wherever we've gone. We usually rough it when we go with her only prefference being a running water bathroom in the campground. We do a lot of both types of groups. Just us (was only the two) as well as several families, some with and some without trailers. Trailers range in 23-40'. We have a 2yr old and a 2 month old, so, ideally i'd like to have some indoor space for the little ones. We don't evpext to live inside permanently, but i want to be comfortable. Trip length waise, it will be 2-14 day stints at a time. We'll only be playing dvd's for the little ones when it's wind down time.
I'm looking at about 5.5-6K dry weight with the expectation to load no more than 1K worth of stuff. We don't pack heavy for anything and only one trip a year would we bring our own water. We'll get it at the destination for most of the trips.
I'm leaning towards the trans cooler as a start and seeing how the manual mode treats us on level trips. the full monty HD package install is always an option.