My previous truck had an after market brake controller added. It was awful. Either the brakes grabbed at slow speeds and were great at higher speeds (more gain), or were smooth at slower speeds but no braking force at all in higher speeds (less gain). I was constantly changing the controller gain when traveling to keep from being yanked to death at slow speeds.
I don't think there is a "happy" setting if you are experiencing this. You have to select your poison.
When we got our last truck, it has the integrated brake controller and I couldn't believe the difference. Once I set the gain so the trailer wasn't LOCKING every time I hit the brakes, it works wonderful! Absolutely smooth as a whistle, slow and fast speeds. Truck and trailer work as one unit. If I increase the gain, the trailer will grab first, and I can feel it, at any speed. It took a little time to fine tune adjust it so it would work smooth, not grab and still brake equal with the truck. But once there, fast or slow, it soooo much different that the after market add on one I had on my previous truck.
As RoyB wrote, I always test my brake controller manually first, in the first 10 feet of movement. I have on occasion had to replug in the pigtail to the truck because I did not have it seated tight enough. I do this, not to set the brakes, but to ensure the trailer brakes are working. I always do this test first, before moving the camper very far, so if here is a problem, I can always back up, get off the road, or whatever, and check things out if they are not working. I also turn the running lights on for a quick moment and look out my rear view mirrors to see if the trailer side-lights are on. Between the brake test and the running lights on test, I know I'm now ready to hit the road.
Integrated brake controllers are fabulous!