We have three kids and the bunks in our fifth wheel are very worth it so we don't have to tear up the living area every night and put it back together in the morning. Plus kids like having their own space, even if it's a small bunk.
My main advice based on your post is to buy a crew cab pickup instead of an SUV. Even just a half ton pickup with the appropriate options would open up way more options for you compared to a midsize SUV, and they're plenty comfortable to drive around unloaded and will get the same fuel economy as a V8 Cherokee. And a newer crew cab is very roomy for a family of 4 or 5. We find that we take our truck on family trips even when we aren't towing because it's roomier than our Pilot and gets as good or better fuel economy. Buying the right tow vehicle up front is much cheaper in the long run than working your way up bit by bit.
Just my opinion but I don't like hybrids. They tow like travel trailers but live like pop-ups inside. Kind of the worst of both worlds, imo.