Check out my rig.
All together, truck and TT are 53'. It weighs almost 10K loaded. Sway is not an issue for me. I have a Dual Cam hitch that works very well but is not the easiest for hookup. They take a little more effort than some others.
If I could do it again it would be a 5er with the same floor plan. The total length would be something like 4-6' shorter because of the 5er being up over the truck and not behind it. Basically if I have to stop I follow the working boys and go where they go. I have to double check campgrounds when booking and sometimes call them to make sure the spots I am looking at will fit.
It is painful at times but you get used to it. Next one will be a 5er no matter what.