No confusion at all....we always used the front bunk only, although opened both for a more open feel and a handy place to set the laundry basket. With company, or with 2 children in the OP case, the rear bunk is readily available. Note I mentioned camping buddies, even with the smaller standard dinette at that time, there was plenty of room for cards, games, etc. For just a time of visiting, the sofa and dinette face each other rather than next to, so lends itself to conversation moreso, IMHO, than next to each other.
You're going to be prepping food regardless, but more people = more to prep. The 23SS has considerably more countertop space than most any HTT.
Re the 3 bunk models...if the OP plans on keeping their HTT for more than 4 or 5 years, the 3 bed model makes good sense. Agree that as the children grow, they like to bring a friend. With the newer, larger U-shaped dinette, it makes a much better bed than the standard dinette from back on '07. Personally, would not want to make up a bed every night, but on occasion would not be a problem. Move the younger one to the dinette and let the older and friend share the rear bunk.