Forum Discussion
FULLTIMEWANABE
May 13, 2016Explorer
Remember the saying ........... How do you eat a whole elephant? One bite at a time.
As with all big life altering goals and coming to terms with adjustments etc, it's sometimes best to break them down into little pieces and triumph over one piece at a time. Is there a way you can discuss with your husband about doing extended after extended trips. We started RVing in the late 90's, initially cramming in lots of long weekends, a 10/12 day Easter trip and then adding in on top of those one 3/4week summer trip until lately we do three 4 to 8 week trips a year and few long weekends within a couple of hours of home base. I truly believe this has helped "me" (hubby is a fly by the seat of his pants, let's just do it type of guy) come around to giving up everything to go FT in less than a year now.
I've met many folks over the years that emigrated from the UK to Canada where the wife unsure (sometimes the husband but most often wife), just took an initial 1 year leave of absence from their "great benefits" UK job, and then had to make a decision to terminate and stay or go back after the year. For most they stayed in Canada, but an odd one or two did end up going back to their homeland, friends and family and secured in mindset job = personalities are individual and that we should never forget!
Not trying to say you are by any means but .......... If you railroad your husband into doing what you really want, the chances are strong that it is a disaster in the making, as he too has his "needs, wants and desires". Can you not come up with a compromise where, psychologically it doesn't feel such a "be all and end all" type of situation to him?
You might be shocked that in the long term he embraces the lifestyle even moreso than you do given time and dipping his toe in the water initially.
One thing that's only been mentioned a couple of times but needs to be stressed is the finances to live FT in an RV, for it to at least live up to your expectations regarding travelling, moving etc. If you end up unable to move due to costs or having to take soul destroying work positions you don't enjoy just to keep food in your tummy's then this will just compound any other issues you may have. For sure, be confident without a shadow of a doubt that you can achieve your FTing goals for a few years at best and that doing so will not be at detriment to your future retirement years in maybe less than stellar health.
There is definitely no right or wrong way for any of us to live our lives as we are all of different natures and personalities which is what makes us all unique, but there has to be some middle ground compromise and expectations as a couple to ensure ongoing harmony.
As for a parent making you feel guilty about leaving, that is totally unacceptable. Our children don't owe us anything whatsoever, they never ever asked to be born! We all have children for our own selfish reasons, and we owe them, never the other way around. We have a duty to set them up in life, knowing generally right from wrong, teach them how to become independent standing on their own two feet, grow within themselves, become an asset to society, and show empathy where warranted for others. Above all to lead a happy, healthy and loving life. We would never ever expect our children to put their lives on hold for us, and encourage them all the time to grab the bull by the horns so to speak. However, being "their parents", we would be there to support them as long as we are able, always with the premise of teaching them to fish not just giving them fish.
It sounds like you and your hubby need to seriously sit down and discuss "pros and cons" of going FT from all aspects and both viewpoints, as well trying to address the compromises that you "each as individuals" are prepared to make.
Happy Travels......... wherever there's a strong enough will, there is always a way!
FTW.
PS: For what it's worth, I've wanted to retire from the second day after I started work and that was four decades plus ago (LOL). Our compromise has been taking more and longer extended trips whilst saving towards the "highlight of our twilight" hopefully to start real soon now.
As with all big life altering goals and coming to terms with adjustments etc, it's sometimes best to break them down into little pieces and triumph over one piece at a time. Is there a way you can discuss with your husband about doing extended after extended trips. We started RVing in the late 90's, initially cramming in lots of long weekends, a 10/12 day Easter trip and then adding in on top of those one 3/4week summer trip until lately we do three 4 to 8 week trips a year and few long weekends within a couple of hours of home base. I truly believe this has helped "me" (hubby is a fly by the seat of his pants, let's just do it type of guy) come around to giving up everything to go FT in less than a year now.
I've met many folks over the years that emigrated from the UK to Canada where the wife unsure (sometimes the husband but most often wife), just took an initial 1 year leave of absence from their "great benefits" UK job, and then had to make a decision to terminate and stay or go back after the year. For most they stayed in Canada, but an odd one or two did end up going back to their homeland, friends and family and secured in mindset job = personalities are individual and that we should never forget!
Not trying to say you are by any means but .......... If you railroad your husband into doing what you really want, the chances are strong that it is a disaster in the making, as he too has his "needs, wants and desires". Can you not come up with a compromise where, psychologically it doesn't feel such a "be all and end all" type of situation to him?
You might be shocked that in the long term he embraces the lifestyle even moreso than you do given time and dipping his toe in the water initially.
One thing that's only been mentioned a couple of times but needs to be stressed is the finances to live FT in an RV, for it to at least live up to your expectations regarding travelling, moving etc. If you end up unable to move due to costs or having to take soul destroying work positions you don't enjoy just to keep food in your tummy's then this will just compound any other issues you may have. For sure, be confident without a shadow of a doubt that you can achieve your FTing goals for a few years at best and that doing so will not be at detriment to your future retirement years in maybe less than stellar health.
There is definitely no right or wrong way for any of us to live our lives as we are all of different natures and personalities which is what makes us all unique, but there has to be some middle ground compromise and expectations as a couple to ensure ongoing harmony.
As for a parent making you feel guilty about leaving, that is totally unacceptable. Our children don't owe us anything whatsoever, they never ever asked to be born! We all have children for our own selfish reasons, and we owe them, never the other way around. We have a duty to set them up in life, knowing generally right from wrong, teach them how to become independent standing on their own two feet, grow within themselves, become an asset to society, and show empathy where warranted for others. Above all to lead a happy, healthy and loving life. We would never ever expect our children to put their lives on hold for us, and encourage them all the time to grab the bull by the horns so to speak. However, being "their parents", we would be there to support them as long as we are able, always with the premise of teaching them to fish not just giving them fish.
It sounds like you and your hubby need to seriously sit down and discuss "pros and cons" of going FT from all aspects and both viewpoints, as well trying to address the compromises that you "each as individuals" are prepared to make.
Happy Travels......... wherever there's a strong enough will, there is always a way!
FTW.
PS: For what it's worth, I've wanted to retire from the second day after I started work and that was four decades plus ago (LOL). Our compromise has been taking more and longer extended trips whilst saving towards the "highlight of our twilight" hopefully to start real soon now.
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