Having a hard time with full timing

[jcpjane]

Hello,
Let me first give you some background. I am a married women- my husband has had this idea of living in an RV traveling around the US for years. He had a mandatory retirement date, so when it came close, we started to get serious about what we'd buy.

Anyway, fast forward to Spring of 2013. We put the house on the market. It took until Sept to find a buyer. Our daughter was still living with us at the time. In Dec 2013, my husband officially retired. Then two days later, our daughter moved into her apartment. 2 weeks later, we went to closing and were on the road.

I had a very hard time of it. Empty nester- whatever. I really didn't have time to adjust to any of the changes. Then on top of it, we were moving from place to place about weekly. (there were some places we stayed for 2 weeks).

I am better about things now, but I still am missing my family, my friends, my comfort zone. Yes, with cellphone and the internet- we stay in touch- but I miss the face to face contact with people that know my "life story".

We are meeting such nice people in the campgrounds (we are very friendly and so are most people that camp). But, somehow its not the same. There is no permanent connection.

So, I'm hoping I can reach out here for some suggestions.

We get out the trailer everyday (mostly) and do something- whether its hiking, swimming, shopping. My husband has a kayak (I don't kayak). I read, do puzzles (word and jigsaw), write in journals, needlepoint. So I have hobbies also. Even if we stay in the campground, we go outside to sit or walk around. (if there aren't any activities- or swimming etc).

We are heading back towards "home" in June for 6-7 weeks. Just for closure. I'm afraid I won't want to leave again.

Please help.

Thanks

[bigwheelsturnin]

i came back here to read the replies as we are embarking on the same plan...i just keep accepting what's to come..the person that said "grieving process"..is right..life changes are difficult & especially when our dreams of what we expected go awry...it's good to know..the we can talk about these things...pm me if you'd like...Vera

[nbargolf]

Second on the volunteering. We volunteer in state parks and love it. Not much real work involved and it keeps you active. We have meet some of our now best friends who do the same. We have a summer place and several winter places. We travel when we want. If fact this summer we, along with one of the friends we met volunteering are going to Alaska. We have found no real downside to volunteering at state park, perks are best campsites in the state, FHU , great people to work with. What's not to like give it a try.

[bigwheelsturnin]

we've been in the RV in SC for work...about 7 yrs now....house in NC...so we're used to the lifestyle...we sell the house...this year...hopefully.
i used to think that way...a little...but getting older...hard to be responsible for house and camper..lots of $$ saved by selling house...hit the road..& throw caution to the wind...
we got wheels and can visit the kids...they got wheels too...it'll be okay..

[usnret]

We have been true full-timers since last June but had been extended RVers since March of 2012. During that time we were gate attendants at Blanton Creek Park (GA) while we waited for the house to sell. During the last two winter season we stayed at Adelaide Shores RV Resort in Avon Park,FL. We had tons of fun and met many wonderful people. There were lots of activities and we were around like minded people. Some were extended RVers and many were full-timers like us. We are now headed to Madras, Oregon to host at Pelton Park CG. Once we finished our gig at Blanton Creek last Labor Day we traveled north to VA and meandered south arriving at our snowbird park just after Thanksgiving. As we traveled south we stayed between one and two weeks at each of the stops in between. Judy liked staying two weeks when possible. Judy has told me many times how much she is enjoying life now. One day we will settle back down but for now we like the highway. Take a look at our blog and the links included therein and you may find something to help with the transition. Hope this helps. We will be wintering in AZ next winter. Maybe we will see y'all there.

[John_Joey]

BarbaraOK wrote:

John&Joey wrote:

BarbaraOK wrote:
...snip... Going through the process of getting to fulltiming with a group of people was great and we still meet up with them throughout the country - though after 8 years only a handful of us are still out here.

Barb

Very curious what you think caused the group to shrink? Or was it a combination of things?

For most it has been health reasons. Time takes a toll on all of us. For a few it was family.

Barb

That makes a lot of sense. Just yesterday we drove thru a park that we spent the winter at five years ago. Many of our old neighbors that had park models were no longer their for health reasons also.

Thanks for the reply.

[sowego]

You've gotten a lot of opinions but it sounds like you are working on your own solution.

Everyone does life differently and their opinions and what works for them offers lots of ideas.

Are you living instead of vacationing or the opposite...does it matter? Do you want some set plans or shun them?

We all know life never remains the same...change is inevitable!
I believe blending different ideas until you figure it all out is one possible solution.

Give this new change more time but if you think you are unhappy...change things up a bit and pick up on some of these poster's ideas.

[WoodGlue]

If you're having trouble with campground WiFi, you might want to get your own connection via a device called a MiFi, through somewhere like Millinecom:

Millenicom

This would allow you to use Skype in a way that at least you'd be able to have "Face Time" with some of your loved ones. Seeing someone you love matters a lot.

I hope this idea helps,

WoodGlue

[Executive45]

jcpjane wrote:
/snip/But it's just getting to places we need to be in certain areas at specific times. So now until June we're moving around.

Wait! What?

If you need to get to places you need to be in certain areas at specific times, you're not yet enjoying the FREEDOM of full timing. No wonder you're getting upset. Not trying to pry here, but IMHO, the RV lifestyle allows you to cut those ties that mean you have a schedule to follow, places to be, people to see etc. Until those ties are cut and you and your husband decide on where you go, you'll continue to be unhappy. People ask us all the time where we will be on a particular date and I can't tell them...when the grandkids come this summer, they'll determine where we go....that's part of the fun for us and the excitement for them. You would be surprised how much a pair of 14 yr olds love to plan trips.....Dennis

[BarbaraOK]

John&Joey wrote:

BarbaraOK wrote:
...snip... Going through the process of getting to fulltiming with a group of people was great and we still meet up with them throughout the country - though after 8 years only a handful of us are still out here.

Barb

Very curious what you think caused the group to shrink? Or was it a combination of things?

For most it has been health reasons. Time takes a toll on all of us. For a few it was family.

Barb

[John_Joey]

BarbaraOK wrote:
...snip... Going through the process of getting to fulltiming with a group of people was great and we still meet up with them throughout the country - though after 8 years only a handful of us are still out here.

Barb

Very curious what you think caused the group to shrink? Or was it a combination of things?

[Rice]

In your original post, you said:

jcpjane wrote:

We get out the trailer everyday (mostly) and do something- whether its hiking, swimming, shopping. My husband has a kayak (I don't kayak). I read, do puzzles (word and jigsaw), write in journals, needlepoint. So I have hobbies also. Even if we stay in the campground, we go outside to sit or walk around. (if there aren't any activities- or swimming etc).

That sounded to me like you were thinking living and not vacation. What fun and new things are you doing and seeing?

I'm at a disadvantage because I don't hike, but most people who do love the opportunity to hike in different places all over the country. That isn't cutting it for you?

[jcpjane]

Rice wrote:

Bill.Satellite wrote:

It sounds like you have not left FL meaning you are pretty much running around in circles just to be moving. Either settle down a bit or GO! There are some absolutely amazing, stunning, awe inspiring, breath taking, historic and unique locations around this great Country of ours and you have an excellent opportunity to find them and brag about having seen them. Some will change your life, some will enlighten, some will educate, some will simply be items you cross off your bucket list and some you will scratch your head and wonder why you wasted your time (like the time I visited Roswell, NM). They will all still be an experience and they will all be an experience you will remember forever.

I agree with Bill that you may not be moving around enough. I know, this is contrary to what everyone else is saying, but I wonder if it would help if you made a cleaner break from your previous lifestyle.

Not to bash Florida, but if I were thinking, "Where would I go if I could spend the time to see everything I wanted to without being rushed?" I would not think of Florida. And it's certainly not the first place I'd go to if I were suddenly free to travel wherever I want. And I can see myself thinking, "For this, I could have stayed home."

What new and exciting things are you seeing and doing there? To me, that's the best part of fulltiming--the luxury to not have to cram everything into a 2-week vacation, and to go see things that I never would have planned a special trip for. It doesn't sound like you're taking advantage of that. (Or maybe you don't want to--if so, I completely understand and you can ignore what I'm saying.)

While a lot of people caution against new fulltimers being in "vacation mode," maybe that's actually what you need. You haven't lost your home and friends, you've gained a vacation that most people would kill for.

You could at least give it a shot. One thing for sure--what you're doing right now isn't working for you, and at least you'd get an adventure out of it.

What plans do you have set until May? Is that when you have to be in Texas? If you're just biding time between now and then, maybe take advantage of it. We once had to kill a month in central New Mexico and it turned out great because we saw all this stuff we'd never have made a special trip for. At whatever pace we chose each day.

(Note to Bill.Satellite -- we did not go to Roswell.)

I have no problem if you decide fulltiming isn't for you, but if you're stuck in it for the time being, it would be a shame if you missed the opportunity to do some real traveling and sightseeing and seeing first-hand how things operate in different parts of the country. It's pretty interesting.

I think part of my problem is that I'm still thinking vacation & not living. DH said to me that we don't have to see & do something everyday. If we had a stick home there would be days that we'd be reading, do emails, just relaxing. So why do we have to rush & do something every day. He's right.

We're trying to come up with a way to see our friends & family (we have a daughter in NY & son in Tx) while still seeing the country. We were thinking of eventually staying where our children are (TX winter, NY summer) & traveling in between. But maybe we'll move that up. When we travel, we'll stay longer in places. That way we won't feel like outsiders.

[Rice]

Bill.Satellite wrote:

It sounds like you have not left FL meaning you are pretty much running around in circles just to be moving. Either settle down a bit or GO! There are some absolutely amazing, stunning, awe inspiring, breath taking, historic and unique locations around this great Country of ours and you have an excellent opportunity to find them and brag about having seen them. Some will change your life, some will enlighten, some will educate, some will simply be items you cross off your bucket list and some you will scratch your head and wonder why you wasted your time (like the time I visited Roswell, NM). They will all still be an experience and they will all be an experience you will remember forever.

I agree with Bill that you may not be moving around enough. I know, this is contrary to what everyone else is saying, but I wonder if it would help if you made a cleaner break from your previous lifestyle.

Not to bash Florida, but if I were thinking, "Where would I go if I could spend the time to see everything I wanted to without being rushed?" I would not think of Florida. And it's certainly not the first place I'd go to if I were suddenly free to travel wherever I want. And I can see myself thinking, "For this, I could have stayed home."

What new and exciting things are you seeing and doing there? To me, that's the best part of fulltiming--the luxury to not have to cram everything into a 2-week vacation, and to go see things that I never would have planned a special trip for. It doesn't sound like you're taking advantage of that. (Or maybe you don't want to--if so, I completely understand and you can ignore what I'm saying.)

While a lot of people caution against new fulltimers being in "vacation mode," maybe that's actually what you need. You haven't lost your home and friends, you've gained a vacation that most people would kill for.

You could at least give it a shot. One thing for sure--what you're doing right now isn't working for you, and at least you'd get an adventure out of it.

What plans do you have set until May? Is that when you have to be in Texas? If you're just biding time between now and then, maybe take advantage of it. We once had to kill a month in central New Mexico and it turned out great because we saw all this stuff we'd never have made a special trip for. At whatever pace we chose each day.

(Note to Bill.Satellite -- we did not go to Roswell.)

I have no problem if you decide fulltiming isn't for you, but if you're stuck in it for the time being, it would be a shame if you missed the opportunity to do some real traveling and sightseeing and seeing first-hand how things operate in different parts of the country. It's pretty interesting.

[jcpjane]

We're going to be slowing down. But it's just getting to places we need to be in certain areas at specific times. So now until June we're moving around.

In June, we plan on going back "home" for 6 to 7 weeks. I do think that will help me figure out if this FT life is for me.

We couldn't afford to pay the mortgage on our house period on DH pension. It is a good pension, however it would not cover us keeping the house & paying for the trailer. Also, if we sold the house & got an apartment in the area, I don't think we'd be able to cut it.

Anyway, we will be more seasonal . But there are things we want to see. Yes I wish we could have a home base. Travel South for the winter, travel North for the summer. But we couldn't afford that.

We will come to some good compromise that works for us. Maybe we'll do the 4 Mos North, 4 months South in one place& travel 2 months in between them sooner.

Our goal is to figure out where we want to have a stick home & then travel once in awhile.