and we need a map to help plan too

I can appreciate what you are looking for but no such map exists. The closest to an RV specific map is a truckers atlas (Barnes and Nobles) and this will only show you routes that are not restricted because of height, propane, etc. You could combine this with a large book called Next Exit that will tell you what is at each exit on the interstates. Nothing on paper is going to show you campgrounds other than state and regional parks but no indication if there is camping there, etc.. There are a lot of apps that do this and a lot of websites also. This one is one of the best

http://www.epgsoft.com/CampgroundMap/

Put in the area, zoom in and find all the campgrounds in that area on the map. Move around the map to expand your choices within a greater radius. Campgrounds will be shown with links to reviews and the campground website. This is as close as you are looking for that you will find - just not on paper.

An online mapping system gives you choices of a satellite view, which is often a great thing to have.

A BIG X2 on the Benchmark series of atlases specific for each western state. They show everything including dirt roads for exploring, all public campgrounds, historic sites, etc. It's a shame they don't make them for eastern states. Instead, you might look at the DeLorme gazeteers which are published for all states. You can find them in bookstores and online. That's what we started out with but our travels are in the west now so we switched to Benchmark.

A state-wide map from a Visitor Center is o.k. but if you're like us, we want lots more detail than they show so you need a state-specific atlas/gazeteer.

You might try browsing this site for regular maps:

Maps of All Kinds

In my mind, a computer will never replace a good paper map for seeing the whole picture of an area. When you zoom out to see more area you loose the detail. We do use the Delorme Street Atlas for preparing our hand-selected routes and a GPS to follow our routes but the first thing we grab before using those is a good map! We don't travel interstates unless absolutely necessary. The secondary roads are much more pleasant for us but everyone is different. Good luck in your search!

I love my Benchmark maps/atlas/but they are only for the west coast. They show were RV parks are, campgrounds, museums, so you won't miss anything. Really wonderful for paper map lovers.

We use www.mapquest.com to route and then www.woodalls.com to locate campgrounds, then www.rvparkreviews.com to check them out.
www.allstays.com has some boondocking sites listed.

I would do it with something like google earth on a computer. You pin things on the map there and label them. If you have a GPS that will give you the coordinates, you can set waypoints in google earth as well.

I'm a papermap lover, so understand what you're talking about.

You don't say how big a geographic area you want the map to cover, but maps of most states/regions/countries can still be had in large sizes. Schools still use them!

We used to do something like that. But now keep everything is on our computer that we bring with us. Many folks (that have good) GPS units just use them. Our old way of using maps was to color code with a highlighter. Blue mark was BLM or Natl Forest, red was Thousand trails etc. And then have 3x5 cards filled out with info.
Now google maps and GPS is our friend, instead of the kitchen table having (a library of) maps for our planning.

you won't find a 3'X4' map that also includes back roads. Especially if you want one for the entire country.

We use two 'maps.' A giant 3X4' map hanging in the bedroom that has different colored pins for where we have been and where we want to go. I affixed it to a large styrofoam board you can find at craft stores.

We also use DeLorme Atlas and Gazetteers. They are some of the most detailed maps we have been able to find. They mostly include backroads. But you must buy them for each state.