Recently I've been seeing ads for a "Pet Stuffed Clone" company.. You send them a Photo of Fluffy, or Snowball or Rover or Fido and they will create a stuffed version that looks just like the real thing (Cuddle Clones I think is the name) 200 bucks for most items... Frankly I'm not interested but I've seen the ad so many times....
Oh, here is the deal.. Send 'em a picture of Rover.. Rover is your choice of a Mastiff, Malmute, Rottweiler (Read that BIG MEAN DOG)
The "Chain" is "his" neck chain
Add a LARGE dog bowl or two and .. Well.. Nobody is going to bother
Even better a digital sound system swith a sound effect (Growl) and a proximitiy sensor.. Oh yes.
The only danger is when the "Dog" growls the Thief may trip over his own feet in his haste to ... Be outta there.. and sue you for harboring a vicious dog.
However ... I think you might just have a "Laugh him out of court" defense when the judge cuddles the stuffed toy.