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At what point do you step in and offer help?

hershey
Explorer
Explorer
A nice nearly new Newmar was backing into a space just across from me. He and the wife have wireless mikes and earphones so there is a lot of communication between them both by voice and by arm movements (and the slamming of the tranny into reverse and drive and extremely jerky movements).
He has little problem getting into the space which is nice and wide but works very hard at getting his MH across the space in the opposite direction that it should be in. It has a patio so its a no-brainer. But, he's kinda straddling a corner of the patio. This goes on for about 15 minutes and there was a lot of hand waving and yelling besides the communication devices.
Now he's on his belly, crawling under the MH to insert the dump end of the sewer hose into the sewer inlet. Its about 2' under the MH at this point. He has a FMCA number that is not nearly a new one so I'm assuming this isn't his first rodeo...maybe the number plate came with the MH? Who knows.
I feel a bit like a jerk for not pointing out some of the obvious things that would simplify his parking and utility hookups but he doesn't look like the type that would see my effort as intended...more like an intrusion.
hershey - albuquerque, nm
Someday Finally Got Here
My wife does all the driving - I just get to hold the steering wheel.
Face Book Group: All About RVing and We Fly RC's
Expedition - Chevy Equinox
91 REPLIES 91

down_home
Explorer II
Explorer II
Sometimes it's hard call, if you're waiting on the right cue. I try not to let anyone fall into the stupid pit alone though. I jump, in perhaps a bit early once or twice. They say we got it or no I think I can do it or whatever no harm no foul.
One thing don't want to do is offer help if you can't do that particular thing yourself.

CavemanCharlie
Explorer II
Explorer II
BC_Explorer wrote:
I do a lot of solo camping that is mostly at unimproved recreation sites with some being tight spots to back the trailer. I never have to ask for spotter assistance but utilize 2 x 2' foot lengths of 2x4 for reference.

One length of 2x4 is set crosswise at the back of the camp parking spot which represents the furthest/deepest I can back the trailer to.

The other length of 2x4 is set parallel to either the applicable left or right tire and represents where exactly the trailer should sit width wise in relation to the camp parking spot.

With this method, it takes zero time to get the trailer backed in and many people who have seen my method, think it is great.


I do that on the farm when backing the grain trucks up to a auger.

BC_Explorer
Explorer
Explorer
I do a lot of solo camping that is mostly at unimproved recreation sites with some being tight spots to back the trailer. I never have to ask for spotter assistance but utilize 2 x 2' foot lengths of 2x4 for reference.

One length of 2x4 is set crosswise at the back of the camp parking spot which represents the furthest/deepest I can back the trailer to.

The other length of 2x4 is set parallel to either the applicable left or right tire and represents where exactly the trailer should sit width wise in relation to the camp parking spot.

With this method, it takes zero time to get the trailer backed in and many people who have seen my method, think it is great.

CavemanCharlie
Explorer II
Explorer II
I am a bachelor and don't have the wife problems. But, on the farm I work with my brother. He asks to be directed back up or, using the bucket tractor to pick things up. Then when I give him directions he does something else. I sar raise the bucket on the tractor and he will tip it back. I say tip it back and he will raise it up. Then he says "Well I could see that doing it my way would work better." In that case I say "Well do it yourself then". Of course by this time we are no longer talking in a quiet/ normal tone of voice. For years I just took the tractor away from him and let him direct me because I will listen to his directions. But, he is getting to old for the manual labor and wants to drive now. So, I've learned to just calm myself down, walk away, and give up. Better to let him do it himself and get mad at me for not helping then us both getting mad. At least I'm calm and not stressed out and he can get as mad as he wants. No skin off of my nose.

(Other people have watched us do this and for some reasons they always seem to think it's funny. The more mad at each other we get the more they laugh. I don't get that part I guess).

Rollnhome
Explorer
Explorer
Our friends have the fancy radio voice activated headsets
They yell at each other for about 20 mins each time they park. ๐Ÿ™‚ When we go with them we prefer pull thru parks.
2008 Discovery 40X towing a Jeep Grand Cherokee

Racefan1
Explorer
Explorer
You can direct me any time you like. I don't have to sleep with you that night, and when the wife tries to direct me, my tone of voice usually increases. When this happens, I usually end up with Hot Tongue and Cold Shoulder for dinner and a little less than a cuddle at bedtime. Feel free to take the radio out of her hand. After I get set up, drop by for an adult refreshment. I love to meet new friends.
Your directions on a bad day are better than hers on a good day.

Rollnhome
Explorer
Explorer
My wife and I do it backwards from most. Most figure the husband is the better driver so he will back it in while wife spots. My wife is a good driver but not a good backer upper. Since I am better at backing up I get out and with one hand and no verbal communication direct her in parking the rig. With a 41 ft rig we have put it into some pretty tight spots. A few times in state parks we have drawn a crowd and my wife has been applauded. She always gets the credit. I think it is great that she does.
2008 Discovery 40X towing a Jeep Grand Cherokee

cacoon
Explorer
Explorer
At what point do you step in and offer help?

When I am asked, if I see them about to cause damage I will let them know, otherwise, if they want or need my help they can ask.
Cacoon

Veebyes
Explorer II
Explorer II
bob_b wrote:
A helpful tip is sometimes appreciated.

I needed help backing up.

I sent my wife out with a 2-way radio to direct me.

The radio worked fine, but the wife malfunctioned.

She got distracted talking to another woman about girl stuff.

I knew something ominous was about to happen because I saw a group of guys holding their beers and laughing (thanks guys). They were looking at my motorhome, then CRUNCH, I hit the roof of the menโ€™s room...then my wife decided to pay attention.

I now have a very good backup camera and have retired my wife from backup duties;)



We use the radios too. The policy is, if she is not talking or I can't see her in a mirror giving hand signals instead everything stops. I don't mind her being out of sight but I want to hear her. The only time she stops talking or signaling is when she stands where SHE wants a rear corner of the trailer to go & gives me a target to aim for.

Hundreds of backins. No crunching sounds so far.
Boat: 32' 1996 Albin 32+2, single Cummins 315hp
40+ night per year overnighter

2007 Alpenlite 34RLR
2006 Chevy 3500 LT, CC,LB 6.6L Diesel

Ham Radio: VP9KL, IRLP node 7995

BigRabbitMan
Explorer
Explorer
For me, a key thing when backing is to either use the mirrors or do not use the mirrors. I have backed a lot of farm equiment into a lot of tight spaces and if I stay with the mirrors, the actions are natural and consistant. If switching from mirror to "looking" each is opposite of the other and gets things confused.

I also like the idea of helping teach someone to back in vs. just backing it in for them.
BigRabbitMan
Gas to Diesel Conversion project
76 FMC #1046, Gas Pusher became a Diesel Pusher
Discussion thread on this site
"You're never too old to learn something stupid."

JAXFL
Explorer
Explorer
To the OP, are you saying that this fella backed into the site at a 90* angle to the site? If so then I think I word have called the front office are them to come out and have a talk with the fellow. When he leaves there is no dought that there will be damage someplace.
Happy Trails
JAXFL
2008 3100LTD Sun Seeker
2008 Chevy Colorado Z71 4x4 Auto Toad

bob_b1
Explorer
Explorer
A helpful tip is sometimes appreciated.

I needed help backing up.

I sent my wife out with a 2-way radio to direct me.

The radio worked fine, but the wife malfunctioned.

She got distracted talking to another woman about girl stuff.

I knew something ominous was about to happen because I saw a group of guys holding their beers and laughing (thanks guys). They were looking at my motorhome, then CRUNCH, I hit the roof of the menโ€™s room...then my wife decided to pay attention.

I now have a very good backup camera and have retired my wife from backup duties;)
'93 Itasca Suncrusier diesel towing a '05 Honda CR-V.
Bob, Pam(DW), Bridget(DD) and Christine(DD)
See you at most of the Penn State tailgates:)

rhagfo
Explorer III
Explorer III
kelly94942 wrote:
I can drive & set up our travel trailer just fine (drove it about 5000 miles this summer) but I rarely have to back it up. I took it out on a girl's weekend this fall and knew it would take me a long time to back up, but that I could get it done. About 5 minutes or so into backing, a gentlemen walked up to me and asked if I wanted help, and I said absolutely! He hopped in, backed it right in, and we were good to go. I was very appreciative!


Not the help I would give, he simply served you dinner. I spent a little time last weekend teaching my daughter to fish, when backing up.
I use a method that has worked great for me for years! Place hand at the bottom of the wheel, and push the direction you want the back of the trailer to go! I also told her to start to straighten out before she needed to. The third thing I taught her in backing up it is much easier if you "palm" the wheel.
Russ & Paula the Beagle Belle.
2016 Ram Laramie 3500 Aisin DRW 4X4 Long bed.
2005 Copper Canyon 293 FWSLS, 32' GVWR 12,360#

"Visit and Enjoy Oregon State Parks"

Johnny_H
Explorer
Explorer
I am like one of the previous posters, I do not run up and say here let me help but will help if asked. Here is one of the biggest things I have found with the inexperienced backers. They will get it in their head that the mirrors reverse the image and that they need to go the opposite direction and then they get in a hurry and all heck breaks loose and they forget everything. I can usually offer one small tidbit of information that I used on students when I was an over the road driver instructor. I will talk to them enough to settle them down a little and then explain to them to think of the steering wheel as the trailer as they sit in the seat. The top of the wheel represents the front and the bottom the back. Then to sit straight in their seat and trust the mirrors and to place their hands on the wheel in accordance to which end of the trailer they want move and to move it towards whichever mirror they want that end to go to and travel slow and follow then catch up. With that advice and just a little coaching I have been able to walk them right into where they were headed. Once they are in and setup we can discuss the particulars over a glass of iced tea. Like the shorter the trailer the shorter the reaction time to catch up with TV and so forth.
Johnny & Cindy
Missie - Yellow Lab
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