Good evening everyone ... we went to the local Dairy Queen (DQ)at noon today and in the parking lot we met a couple (5 yrs older than us) - both of whom we had not seen for years - they were really better friends with DH’s parents than us even though they are only 5 years older than us.Anyway we sat down to have lunch together as they initially had asked where we had been, but really didn't listen or show in anyway they cared ... they simply wanted to know why they could not get ahold of us when DH's folks died. They had seen the obit awhile back and wanted to know what DH's folks had died from.They could only talk about their medical issues, surgeries, ills, insurance costs, and people we all knew as to their ills, pills, etc.Do you also not enjoy sitting down with people who only have two topics they want to talk about - Medicare and Money (I have referred to these people as the M&M conversationalists.)?I am not Ranting or Complaining, just wondering why people are not grateful for their health instead of having to tell people about their medical issues ? I am grateful for my family, their love, my health, my energy level, and the ever lasting love of my husband. Don't get me wrong I have my "down days", but strive to keep smiling and love to see others smile. I would rather make people laugh & smile than share my health or money issues. Sorry this is so long a post, and hope y'all understand that the above is why it is so very hard for us to even consider going into a 55+ complex .. we love to volunteer and the people we meet are upbeat and enjoy their RV Lifestyle .. whether it be volunteering or Camping or ?And have never talked outside of RV.Net about the postings here, but have been encouraged and enlightened by y'all and your sharing. And especially when I have had questions which y'all very nicely answered. Thank you very much for your helps.

We both are way pass 55 and I would never consider staying in a 55+ only place. We enjoy RV'ers of all ages. Even those that are really YOUNG, that can laugh, cry and scream all with in minutes. It does seem as we get older, health or the lack of, comes up in conversations.

I know some folk like that. It could be raining $100.00 bills and they would complain that their back hurt to bad to pick them up. I just try to change the conversation to another topic, but have to be quick or the health problems pop up again. I got plenty of problems, but I figure that they are MY problems and not be be shared with friends.

I try not to mention that I am a Pharmacist.:BSometimes health issue conversations are relevant, but usually I try to keep the conversation on Nature or Rving. My parents always sayed to keep the conversation away from sex, money, and raising children. When in a conversation, a person found out that a doctor friend was an MD, they would often try to ask medical question. His reply was often: Come step into this room and take off all your clothing for me.:B It usually ended the conversation.Happy Trails.

I was a career Air Force NCO when the Air Force decided to medically retire me for service connected health reasons. My ID card says "RETIRED". I have all of the perks of someone who put in twenty years, except I didn't get a retirement flag and a certificate. I hate answering questions like "how long were you in for" because that then brings up the questions about my health. Really, are people's lives so empty that they have to load up on other people's problems?By the way, if the Air Force would have me back, I would say all is forgiven and I would put the uniform back on today. But they have no need of a broken down old staff sergeant.

It is just a function of their daily experience. We have relatives like that and the underlying issue is that all they have in their lives is medicine doctors and drugs. It is sad.

Is it just me? Or do you not talk about Health Issues ?

40 Replies

WoodGlue
Explorer
Jun 21, 2013
My parents were very wise people.

They taught us to "keep your own counsel" - meaning don't blab your ever personal detail to whomever might listen.

These are words I still carry with me today. It doesn't mean to not be friendly or gregarious, just watch what you say about yourself, your family, your family wealth, your personal health, etc.

WoodGlue
motorcycle_jack
Explorer II
Jun 21, 2013
I don't know what it is but I find the generation older than me ( those 70+) tend to talk more about their aches and pains, doctors and misfortunes. My generation seems to talk about trips, grand kids and where to go eat a good meal. Maybe we will get to that place of discussing ailments but I hope not. I have more ailments than any one I know and I could REALLY monopolize the conversation.

We have in our wills how we want our passing to be handled by our kids and attorneys. There is to be a big party at a special venue, a band to play great music, clowns and magicians for the kids. If any is left over (probably not as we are spending their inheritance) they are to take it, invest it and buy the grand kids a car so they will remember everytime they drive it that we bought it for them.
Chock_Full_o__N
Explorer
Jun 20, 2013
FOREVER FREE wrote:
CA POPPY wrote:
Haulinhazmat wrote:

my uncle told me to never tell a lie but I could stretch the truth enough to make it funny.

It's a great attitude! None of us is getting out of here alive. I love it at memorial services when people stand up and tell funny stories about things the departed did. Leave 'em some good material!

Totally agree. Funerals are without a doubt the most depressing ceremonies to sit through. When Diane's mother died we had her cremated as was her request. It was several months later when we had a ceremony and we gathered friends and family together, placed her urn on a table in the front and everybody told stories of their memories of her. The stories were great and folks learned a lot about her that they hadn't heard before. There wasn't a tear in the crowd as this was a "Ceremony Of Life". When I go I want the same thing but I would like it to be in a bar where everybody can raise a toast and tell embarrassing tales about me. I have a special place in Arizona in the mountains between Oatman and Kingman where I've asked for my ashes to be thrown into the wind. It's one of the most beautiful spots I ever seen. Best wishes to ya'all and happy RV'ing.

After my Dad's graveside funeral we all headed to the house to receive family and friends. Some of his women friends were distraught. So my sister set up a galvanized tub of beer on the porch and my brother brought out his horse and gave the children rides around the pasture. We spent the afternoon laughing and eating BBQ.

DH & I have decided that when die we want it to be like that. Don't waste time mourning and crying for me. I plan to leave my kids money to cater a party for everyone, with fried chicken, all the trimmings and margaritas for all! Then take my ashes up to the north GA mountains to our favorite campground and dump me under a tree. I'd much rather them visit me on a hiking trail than in some sterile cemetery.
FOREVER_FREE
Explorer
Jun 20, 2013
CA POPPY wrote:
Haulinhazmat wrote:

my uncle told me to never tell a lie but I could stretch the truth enough to make it funny.

It's a great attitude! None of us is getting out of here alive. I love it at memorial services when people stand up and tell funny stories about things the departed did. Leave 'em some good material!

Totally agree. Funerals are without a doubt the most depressing ceremonies to sit through. When Diane's mother died we had her cremated as was her request. It was several months later when we had a ceremony and we gathered friends and family together, placed her urn on a table in the front and everybody told stories of their memories of her. The stories were great and folks learned a lot about her that they hadn't heard before. There wasn't a tear in the crowd as this was a "Ceremony Of Life". When I go I want the same thing but I would like it to be in a bar where everybody can raise a toast and tell embarrassing tales about me. I have a special place in Arizona in the mountains between Oatman and Kingman where I've asked for my ashes to be thrown into the wind. It's one of the most beautiful spots I ever seen. Best wishes to ya'all and happy RV'ing.
CA_POPPY
Explorer
Jun 19, 2013
Haulinhazmat wrote:

my uncle told me to never tell a lie but I could stretch the truth enough to make it funny.

It's a great attitude! None of us is getting out of here alive. I love it at memorial services when people stand up and tell funny stories about things the departed did. Leave 'em some good material!
Haulinhazmat
Explorer
Jun 19, 2013
I talk about my health problems because it is so funny. Like the time I fell over dead on the dance floor in a backwoods honky Tonk. That's embarrassing , never went back to that place.
went to the Doc once told the nurse I had chest pains and short of breath, they called a ambulance and sent me hospital they gave me a paper that said "S O B - chest pain. " That's a fine diagnosis , The SOB has chest pains. I try to have fun all the time cause life's to short not to.
my uncle told me to never tell a lie but I could stretch the truth enough to make it funny.
FOREVER_FREE
Explorer
Jun 18, 2013
It becomes hard not to talk about my disabilities when people see the Arizona brace I have to wear on my L /ankle which extends almost to the knee along with the spring loaded knee brace on the left knee which extends from just above the ankle and extends almost to the groin. In other words the L/leg is basically covered, so everybody seeing me invariably wants to know what happened. I also walk with a cane, use a special walker or ride a scooter. It usually become the start of a long conversation as well as a new friendship. Happy RV'ing to all of you. :)
Islandman
Explorer II
Jun 16, 2013
We try not to bring up our ills, which compared to many folks our age aren't that big of a deal. I really hate to talk about our disabilities after seeing veterans returning home with artificial limbs, and worse things.....makes me feel lucky that I didn't get hit over in 'Nam years ago. However, if someone else brings up their problems, we try to be good listeners and sympathetic to their needs..........many times they just want someone to talk to and don't mean to bore you with their problems.
2oldman
Explorer II
Jun 16, 2013
mockturtle wrote:
But I also can't help but call quackery by its rightful name and some people don't like that.
It's difficult to listen to quackery like Chelation or Amberin without telling the person he's wasting his money. And there's plenty of it out there.
Chock_Full_o__N
Explorer
Jun 16, 2013
raindove wrote:
Re: purpose of this forum.....
Yes, but.... there's a difference between asking a question or getting a little moral support -- and real life where there are ppl who can't carry on a conversation unless it's about all the gorey details of their problems. A big difference. :)

Ugh. My sister is like this. Within 10 minutes of meeting her she will tell you all about her Rheumatoid arthritis, her hysterectomy, and her upcoming surgery. Then she moves quickly to her husband's asthma and heart problems, and her daughter's Aspergers syndrome and multiple mental health diagnoses. I just spent a week with her and she just never let up. Every event, every conversation somehow leads back to her family's health issues. Heck, even my 79yr old mother doesn't complain as much as my sister!