We're also in the same boat. When I was very young, I looked at older people and that was really neat because they've got things all figured out, are financially secure and can do whatever they want. Nothing is farther from the truth. Two parents still here, my mom is 91 and has Alzheimers and is in a care home. FIL has issues from a stroke a few years back and is in early-mid dementia and is now in assisted living. Both are well taken care of and can do just fine if we're not around. Our parent's stories are below in the "appendix"...
After 6+ years of dealing with both parents, we're fried and are suffering from caregiver burnout. We lost a lot of camping time this past summer because FIL was hospital for nearly a month then had to be taken care of at his place. Also DW's mom died from cancer in her 50s. I'm retired but DW still has a few years of working to go. We've both decided we're going to take more time for ourselves next summer and let the care facilities look after our parents without feeling guilty one little bit. In 3 years if they are both around, we're going to do extended RV-ing trips.
You never know when the next day you wake up could be your last. Or you could have a stroke and end up confined to a bed. We've both worked very hard our adult lives to have what we have and to be able to have want we want in retirement. If one of us was gone, I highly doubt the other would still go on the trips that you dreamed about for so many years. And I almost guarantee if you asked a parent when they were younger and in a full state of mind that they would not want you to not enjoy yourselves later in life. I don't think anyone should feel guilty as long as parents are being looked after properly by someone. (Unfortunately there are many that never get the luxury of being put in a care home even if they have every reason and right to be for a number of circumstances.)
I wouldn't wish what we have been through with parents on anyone but I know it's not uncommon once you start talking to people in our age range.
Appendix:
We went through absolute hell with mom for several years trying to get our local health authority to put her in a care facility. She lived in her own house and could not cook or do housework because she no longer knew how. She would walk to and from her house 10 - 20 times a day for no reason and was never home in the daytime. She's very deaf and would walk right in front of cars on her busy street and not hear them. She used to steal food from the nearby grocery store. She could not heat up the frozen meals we took to her house. And a family member was financially abusing her. There was no gov. or non-profit org. that would/could help. We had a signed affidavit from her doctor that said she needed to be in a 24 hour care facility but the health authority kept saying "she's perfectly fine and seniors want to stay in their own homes" which is their standard party line spew. It wasn't until we formally complained to our the provincial gov. rep. for our area that she finally got put into a home, and it only took 2 days after that! She's now been in the care home for over 3 yrs. I had to go to court to get a "committeeship" which is higher than a power of attorney. The court battle was gut wrenching in itself and the judge said he was flabbergasted what the other family member was trying to do.
FIL has also been a handful for the past few years - not as bad as mom, but still a LOT of work. He went into a low level residential care type bldg. several years ago after a stroke that left one hand with no function. He has been extremely needy and demanding and has been sliding into dementia the whole time. Constant phone calls and requests to go see him to deal with things, many of which were his own doing like breaking the TV, AC unit, hearing aids, and plenty more. Having to take him to medical appts., do his laundry, clean his place,
