Goodbye, my Keiss . . .
The long handle blended into the browns and gray hues of the desert. It was only broken by the haphazardness of the mesquite bushes that dotted the expanse beyond my window. My thoughts cried loudly within my head knowing what was below the handle. The broad edge had been thrust into the crust below it, now more than six hours before. The wind was stronger and rearranging the desert floor that had earlier been disturbed, soon to erase any signs anyone had been here.
Nothing could be shared to appease the sadness that was weighing heavily upon me this day. The years seemed to have flown by since the moment a little black whirling blur, with two pointy ears, had been carried through our door. Its excited tumbling and sliding on the wood floors pulling at everyoneโs heart within.
The slight nudge of Keiss's head, against my leg, would be the tell-tale sign he had returned from his brief night stroll on this moonless night. He was invisible in the darkness and almost silent, until his nudge. The later years arrived much too soon and the infirmaries of slowing gait, confusion and night battles with unseen squirrels were racing through his dreams. The bright sparkle of his eyes filtering through the hair around his eyes, as he watched me dropping the crumbs of the finished bag of cookies into his dish. Without a doubt, anticipating the moment he could then lick them out. A pleasure he received on occasion for the many times he provided pleasure for our family.
Walking out the door of my Truck Camper, to retrieve the shovel set into the desert by me, I noticed the silver bag containing the cookie crumbs he didnโt get to finish, the day he left us . . . me. I had stood over him seeing the brightness of his eyes, as we looked at each other, as the cloud euphoria cascaded through him. Within my thoughts I held strong as his inability to be able to stand up and walk beside me, these recent weeks. The nights as we struggled to find something he could swallow and eat weighed on me as much as his whines of hunger. I was feeling the weight shifting from his legs to my arms and hands as I began to hold him ever tighter and his head leaned into my arm for the final time.
A pet provides so many pleasures in life. A child provides happiness that is unfathomable. Parents and family provides the guidance and love that sustains all of us. Friends provides the comfort all of us want, without ever asking. The loss of any of this causes sadness that only time will heal. Time, please come quickly.
Goodbye my Keiss, your being here brought such great pleasure and unconditional LOVE.
b
Photo by; Sabconsulting ~ at Mormon Lake May 2014
After posting this topic I have been unable to come back and read what everyone has posted, until this morning. I certainly am humbled with the numbers that have stopped in and also commented. Over the years I have read many of these posts, of those that have experienced a similar loss and the grief that followed. I never missed reading any of them, as this sharing has guaranteed that we are people, with feelings and wanting to share with others that have an intertwined interests. Thank you all for allowing me to share this personal side of my life and loss. I am forever grateful for your thoughts and comments. My lifestyle is unique, to many, and having a dog to share my days and life is and was invaluable. The loss of this miniature Welcoming Committee, anytime I arrived home, is now greatly missed. While Keiss was the 4th Scotty I have had, the first one appeared as a Christmas present in 1963, in addition to the Lab I had for 15 years too. All of these dogs provided great relief and comfort and I experienced great loss when it was their time, too. What makes Keiss very different, this time, is the fact I am retired and traveling alone and it has been just Keiss and I, these last 14 years. The lack of his noise is now deafening, within the walls of my Camper.
I am humbled by your thoughts and comments. I know Keiss was happy to have met many of you, as I traveled this country. While he was not the type to run and jump all over you. In fact he was often aloof and just walked by you. His attention and love was always present, especially to those small children he especially loved. Wherever I was, reading in a chair or standing and talking with someone, he could be found lying beside me, often with his head on my foot. Or sitting and listening patiently to the conversation I was having with someone. Sometimes he would give his small yelp, to signal we needed to move along and for me to stop talking.
Thank you, everyone.
b
(bryan)
