from my experience, mileage increases once the EGR and DPF are deleted. I'd be surprised if you get much mileage gain with just a tuner. I went from about 12-13 to 18-20 mpg empty and 10-12 to 12-14 towing (depending on how I drive).
I use my exhaust brake all the time. At 109 000 km, I still have 50% front pads left.
Tow haul changes how the exhust brake comes on and changes the shift points. I use it in the mountains towing but not daily driving.
I leave my tuner on the stock setting when towing and most of the time daily driving. I will crank it up once and a while to play but once the truck is deleted there is TONS of power just at the stock setting.