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Re: Mid Life Crisis Or Just Ready To Live?
NYCgrrl wrote: ol' yeller wrote: Take a deep breath and please listen. You are not being trolled nor is anyone trying to be unfriendly. You have asked this forum what they think about your method to resolve your current life issues and then get upset when they try to help. As I read all your posts and all the answers I kept thinking that you need help getting through the situation that life has put you in. Seeking that help from a medical professional is much more beneficial than from a bunch of folks who happen to live in their RVs. I have been there and received that help when life put me in a very dark place about 25 years ago. This doesn't necessarily mean medication but rather talking with someone who is trained in helping you work through your issues. If it was just you, I'd say go for it but you are also responsible for another human being and his needs have to be considered as you sort out your issues. Two years is very short time and will pass quickly. Then he will be old enough to take on the responsibility for his life and future. My recommendation to you is to use that time to find yourself and define what you want from life after he is on his own. If you decide to full time at that point any repercussions are only experienced by you. The joys will also be yours to savor. Honestly, I and the others here only wish you the best. X 601 and on to infinity For this part of the post an extra special "Hullooooooooooo" If it was just you, I'd say go for it but you are also responsible for another human being and his needs have to be considered as you sort out your issues. Finish your job raising your 16 y/o son and make that position your number 1 priority. All you've put off to date will still be there in 2 years' time. As a side benefit your son will be in your corner 20 odd years from now when you're the age of your parents. No I didn't. I have various family members who, in their own views, perceive the idea of going full time in an RV to be insane. They are filled with gloom and doom scenarios. They live for it. My original question was pointing out the concern maybe they got in my head and I'm second guessing myself - NOT second guessing full time in an RV but having one at all. The SECOND topic was asking opinions and feedback on things teens do from families with teens who are full time RV. YOU and a few others took that and ran off the damned deep end thinking this is some desperate escape from suicidal depression or some stupid **** and you are the one who is just off your rocker. You clearly misunderstood the question and now you're so full of your own nonsense you can't find your way back to the OP. If you do not have teenagers and you do not live full time in an RV, and if you do not have family or friends who think anyone living in an RV is nuts, then you are not qualified to offer an answer and nothing else you say is relevant. I'm not "in a situation". I'm about to invest a big amount of money and it's either an RV or a down on a house. Sorry you can't wrap your head around it but whatever. Maybe that's why YOU live in an RV...you have too much of an issue comprehending factual reality or can't break down simple concepts. Maybe you need to seek medical help with your comprehension level. This is not about living with my parents. This is about DO I PURCHASE AN RV AND GO FOR IT OR JUST BUY A HOUSE AND DO WHAT EVERYONE ELSE DOES AND EXPECTS WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO... Jesus.431Views0likes0CommentsRe: Mid Life Crisis Or Just Ready To Live?
Jesus H christ what part of "not in a dark place" are you incapable of comprehending? You people have issues. I'm done here. I asked a simple question and then end up with a bunch of armchair pseudo shrinks trying to psychoanalyze something that doesn't need psychoanalysis. Given the fact you clearly cannot comprehend what you read and just go off the deep end, your comments and feedback are rendered irrelevant. Otherwise I'm being trolled...and that makes this forum pretty useless. I'm out.430Views0likes0CommentsRe: Mid Life Crisis Or Just Ready To Live?
LOL wow, it may have been the way I wrote the OP trying to put out info I felt was relevant...but clearly some of you have misinterpreted the entire point and gone completely off the deep end trying to psychoanalyze a frigging post on a forum. Don't quit your day job. Seriously. I am not depressed. I am not clinically depressed. I don't have psychological issues. My son is healthy, well adjusted and highly intelligent and capable. We opted homeschooling because of the military. When my ex and I divorced, he flaked out and financially wrecked our stability - financially and the spin lasted awhile but was nothing that was impossible to overcome. Part of the recovery was moving back with the parents, which is totally depressing and for awhile made me feel like the ultimate loser failure. It's depressing for anyone who is fiercely independent to end up living with their parents but it's not a medical condition. You're way overboard on that. I am not running away from or to anything whatsoever. Did you people even read the damn post? Sounds like a lot of projectors are smoking up the room here and maybe some of you need to reel in your own self loathing and regrets in life and stop assigning them to me. I just asked a question about the option of going full time and 1. what **** there is for teens to do on the road and 2. whether or not the anxieties are normal or if the people around us got in my head and caused me to second guess my plans. The rest is all your baggage, so spare me please. I have my own business. I am starting another one that is mobile friendly. It's getting nearer to the time I either 1. buy a house and root in or 2. select an RV as my permanent home and go full time, which is my preference. We are already well comfortable and adaptive to moving around on a regular basis. That's not an issue. An RV in theory seems as though it would be the better investment for that mobile lifestyle rather than leases and static locations. Am I going to end up being trolled like this every time I post here? I thought this was a friendly place...maybe I was wrong.430Views0likes0CommentsFull Timing With Teens
Ya know what...it's clear now that some have utterly missed the actual question and gotten the seriously off the wall impression this was a dire, desperate sort of question when it wasn't. If you ask a house dweller about full timing in an RV, you'll get one of two likely answers: I'd love to/wish I could, and You're crazy! As it happens, my entire family fall into group 2. I fall into group 1. Now...being close to a point in time where I will need to pick a direction on residence, I've considered full time RV vs house. I also have a homeschooled 16 y/o. IF you are a family with teens and you roadschool, and go full time in an RV, please share your suggestions on how you handle some of the typical teenager issues while residing in an RV, and things for them to do. IF you deal with group 2 sorts and you'e a group 1 sort, please share advice on how you deal/dealt with people who are terrified of risk, change, or living. IF you don't do either, then I don't need to hear from you because you don't have relatable relevant experience. My original question regarding "mid life crisis" was not a severe mental issue. It was a nod to making unconventional choices and the reactions of people in group 2 who inevitably think it's nuts ANYWAY. My original question regarding teens still stands. There are worse things he'll experience in life than spending a couple years living in an RV and seeing the country. I'm not worried about that. I was for a bit but it's been sorted out. I don't need your BS armchair pseudo psych evaluation nor is one warranted just because I make a decision to make my home an RV. Now..carry on.7.3KViews0likes27CommentsRe: Mid Life Crisis Or Just Ready To Live?
NYCgrrl wrote: Nomadic Fanatic could well be a fraud. And he's a kid. Willing to hold off judgement until further developments. He certainly seems quite the dreamer from my POV but to each his own. Reading your posts I really don't have any further your goals advice . Wasn't good at the total '60's hippies' thunk either, LOL. What you want is quite the antithesis from my existence so kinda difficult for me to step into your shoes. Your youngest has already been on a lot of your life adventures and your assessment of his 2 years down the road future has me confused. Not sure what your probs are w/ your parents but at 50 I'd gander a guess they are at least in their 70's with the possible health problems that can incur. I COMPLETELY understand that your son doesn't always understand them. I still think medical help may be your best answer. I wish you and your family well in your endeavors:). LOL I really think one of us jumped on the wrong page here! What medical help is required? For what purpose? I don't have any problems with my parents. We came to stay here after my divorce so we could regroup and pick a new direction. The direction came down to A. same old, back to an apartment or house with all that entails or B. full time RV. It's depressing being this age living at home with the parents, which is not the same as "clinical depression". This isn't a medical or a psych issue, it's a question of best fit but after reading through and writing/clarifying, I kind of figured out what it was I wanted to know from you guys so made a separate post for that. I wasn't seeking any advice on what I should do. Thanks though! PS what's the story with nomadic fanatic? Or any discussion on that I can look at?147Views0likes0CommentsRed Shoe RVing...I Need Your Stories!
I joined yesterday and posted the mid life crisis one but through reading over it and clarifying for others it helped clarify for me why I actually joined. I wasn't looking for advice though I appreciate your time to share that...what I'm looking for I think is to hear your stories about what you went through, dealt with, faced, your situation that inspired your final decision to actively go RV full time. I'm also interested in how the people around you handle it - whether supportive or not and how you handled the non supportive ones. I'm having anxieties that maybe the ones around me have been successful in getting in my head and causing me to second guess myself, indulge the doubts and anxieties, or if I was the one being silly and unrealistic and they're just getting through once and for all. I think by reading your stories I'll be able to pick apart whether or not I'm in a similar place and this is par for the course or if it's so alien that it reveals things I never considered so maybe they have a point. I don't mind how long it is, I'm genuinely interested in the period that led to your decision to go for it and what happened. ETA PS - and to clarify that, I'm looking at the actually active period when you were having to make a move one way or the other, as opposed to just thinking about it for years and just doing it. There was that period of time when you knew you were serious that you went into "serious" consideration mode, bringing it up to people and what you experienced. If that makes sense! Thanks!2.6KViews0likes10CommentsRe: Mid Life Crisis Or Just Ready To Live?
Thanks for the replies...I was surprised to see 3 pages this morning ;-) To clear up some points: 1. Granted I hate living with the parents at this late stage, they are not supporting me. We're just here. I support myself and always have. I have income, skills, nomadic skills - this is not going to be a real issue. I've been self employed for a decade already. I just reside with my parents and for someone like me who's always been fiercely independent, this is the fate worse than death. Include the fact it's in a state that's assbackwards and repressed, the feeling I'll die here (and living at my parents' place) is my worst nightmare. 2. I'm not "escaping" anything. This isn't an act of desperation. In y early 20s I went to an RV shop and tooled around checking them out, on a whim. I fell in love at first sight. I knew just being in these RVs and campers this was my ideal home...not my "dream home" as in fantasy but ideal home, the home that suits who I even am. I've been living a nomadic lifestyle anyway since I was mid 20s. My family and friends are used to it for the most part but still give me enormous drama anyway because it's usually nothing for me to start accumulating "stuff" and then after 6 months or a year dump it all and hit the road, move somewhere else. I do not mind a few places for the long term but the idea of being committed to one place indefinitely makes me feel like I'm drowning. Being around people who do the same thing day in and day out and call that living make me feel suffocated. Being in relationships with people (guys/romantic/sex included) who are "rooted in" never last for me, I always end them because I get revved up like the Tasmanian Devil ready to go "somewhere" else. When they ask where I think I'm going to go my answer is usually "Don't know...won't know til I get there" - I don't really have a specific location. It's a general, broad destination and as long as it doesn't suck I'll stay there. Eventually when its novelty wears off, I'll go elsewhere. The people around me - family and friends - get on me because of how much money I've "wasted" buying a house full of stuff only to unload it every other year. It doesn't bother me. It bothers them. I've kept smaller things that truly matter to me, books until I migrated to Kindles, and finally reduced my shoe intake. Though now I have about 15 pair, truth be told I wear either house slippers or little sandles (summer) boots (winter). I keep my heels in case I go somewhere I need to dress formal. Usually I don't. 3. Again, I already homeschool. We've done this for years. It's a non issue. 4. My son at this point, being where we are, literally has no friends. When we came here in particular, we moved to a different state from where we were. He keeps in regular contact online which is why an internet connection/electricity is a requirement, or accessible on a frequent basis. He's not being pulled away from anyone at this point. I am seeking more outlets for teenagers who are full time RVers and find things for him to do. My biggest anxiety about it is knowing he'll be wanting to hook up with girls and having no outlets, yet as a mother and hi being 16, I'm cool with it - but he won't be for long and he'll start giving me grief about it when his hormones really bust out on him. I'll deal with it but I don't want to deprive him of that sort of thing (or me either for that matter since I'm not done yet!). I've asked if he wanted to stay with the grandparents if I go full time RV and he's said no. I know he'll go along and won't hate me...just not sure how long that'll last and whether I am depriving him or not. For ME it works. No issue on my end. I was concerned if doing this at all is really hurting him and I just don't see it but all these issues have easy solutions. I'm concerned that what if they're all an illusion and once we're doing it, he'll end up hating me over it. BUT he's been "dragged" around through all the repercussion of the divorce that sent his world and stability (the 3 bedroom upper middle class nice neighborhood, dogs, cat, friends kind) into a tailspin. He has never complained. I've never seen him cry over it. He doesn't protest. He just rolls with it. For 3 years it's seemed he's pretty strong or doesn't care like I think - he's not traumatized at all and I'm just paranoid, OR he's shoving it all down and one day he'll just blow a gasket. But he still seems to be taking it all in stride, like a trooper. He doesn't complain about it. He doesn't need to talk and when I think he's repressing and try to get him talking he looks at me like I fell out of a tree and insists he's perfectly fine, none of it is bothering him, it's bothering me more...and he's fine where we go as long as we're not broke and on the street. I guess I'm not sure if I trust that as an answer because it's so....nomadically sound! When we've traveled, as long as I stop periodically to explore, he truly loves that. He gets frustrated when it's cut short so we can get back on the road. I think the biggest issue he has that's caused him to protest is we don't stop long enough to really smell the flowers. We stopped at the Verde River in Cottonwood...he loved Cottonwood and wanted to take the train ride but we have a cat and I had no idea what to do with a cat. He was bummed out. But not enough to give the cat to someone else. So the deal is this - I'm getting ready to move out of here once and for all. The choice is usually made - find an apartment or rental somewhere. Start over. The money isn't the problem. It's the residence now. Do we find an apartment? A rental house? OR do I take this opportunity while we're already in the "houseless, homeless nomadic" foundation and go ahead with the RV transition to full time right off the bat, taking our "stuff" with us wherever. And having a place to live until we decide it's time for an apartment or house. I'm pulled to just go for it but I'm colored by the anxieties as mentioned through this - did they get in my head or is this reasonable anxiety? My son is telling me he's okay with it. He's not enthusiastic about full time RV because he really doesn't know what it entails and he sees living in a car as a house..but the travel, the different places, the living out of a suitcase, he's kind of used to that in a way from the last 3 years. He just doesn't want to be in a shelter somewhere like a homeless person - that is his fear. He does trust me I won't let that happen. My anxiety here is that they got in my head and when I say full time RVing will be good for him, he'll realize this is an ideal solution for the lifestyle we've adapted to over the last few years already, that I'll know exactly where my teenager is at all times and what he won't be doing (drinking, drugs, running the roads, hanging with vandals, etc), and once we're mobile and exploring he'll be enthralled and get into it, enjoy meeting a lot of people, learning to drive an RV and being able to - that these things are unrealistic and he's "supposed to" be in a house somewhere with a brick and mortar school and doing teenager stuff like dances and football. Okay...I think I figured this out. They did exactly this same thing when I sprung homeschooling on them. They pretty much decided I'd lost my mind. It's the same thing really. These are people who are rooted in so obviously they're not going to see this RV full time as anything but psychotic! I think the reason I joined here is to hear your stories and see if you guys experienced these same anxieties so I can see realistically whether mine are just normal and will pass once I make the decision or if they are legit and maybe this will destroy my relationship with my son and I really just don't see it. Also, I'm not clinically depressed. I'm depressed when I feel stuck, caged, locked in. That sends me down every time. Long as I'm moving, I'm peachy. I can stop when I want to stop but only if I'm the one choosing it. If I have to stop for someone else, I'll make the sacrifice but it usually does a number on me til I can't take it anymore and just have to go. ;-) Thanks for the replies. I spent most of last night watching all of Nomadic Fanatic's videos from a link from here. I'm so ready to full time RV now it's not funny!147Views0likes0Comments
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