A terrible dinette table. Opinions on modification?

Boomer, you are right about the corners. But some dinette tables are not wood -- they are made of MDF, with a plastic overlay. As soon as you cut into the plastic, that ugly MDF shows up -- it is basically compressed cardboard. Not sure if that is true of the OP's table.

The other trick is getting the plastic laminate to cut cleanly. I've tried all sorts of blades on my scroll saw, at various speeds, and have never been satisfied with my work -- there are always chips in the plastic.