Wild idea -- skirts & a propane flame box underneath?

Gdetrailer, are you calling me a cheapskate? I deeply resemble that remark! ;)

No, seriously, I often have to reign in my impulse to figure out a home-made solution when there is a cheaper/better/safer off-the-shelf alternative.

Having said all of that, please do bear in mind that I prefaced my initial exploratory post with the words "wild idea." I was aware that this was a long shot and have since been persuaded.