We call this snowballing, when simple things get more complicated the more we work at them. Reading more on the same charts, the owner's manual says I can have (with towing package and weight distributing hitch, I was calling that an equalizer) 5000 pounds gross trailer weight, 500 pounds maximum tongue weight that is part of the maximum GVWR, and 64 square feet of frontal area.
I've ordered the service manual on CD, I figure that's the only place I'll get a good answer about exactly what a tow package is and how it is different from a non-tow package jeep. The manual says the tow/haul button just locks out overdrive, which I don't recall ever seeing on my jeep so, maybe just let that be a mystery for now.
My grandparents were old time truckers so I'm not intimidated by towing a big trailer with a jeep. I appreciate the concerns, though, since there are plenty of accidents involving higher 4-wheel drives without a trailer, I'll need to be extra cautious with one. I am likely vulnerable to under estimating the benefits of huge radiators, 10 quart oil pans, the 5th wheel and anything else that my jeep doesn't have. Thanks again for the advice.