That is two posts that I have read recently where the op went in for a exhaust manifold leak and ended up spending a bunch of money. These engines do tend to have problems with exhaust manifold leaks and broken exhaust bolts. Sometimes its hard to tell if they are trying to protect the customer from problems down the road or sell extra work that is not needed. Your case seems like a lot of work for an engine with fairly low miles on it.
My feeling is that dealers prefer to put a recon head on once the head is off. That usually protects them from problems that might occur with the head after it is reinstalled. And, the tech likes it because he has a clean, freshly milled head ... no cleanup ... no inspection, just bolt it on.
In our fleet shop we usually exchange the head. Our engines usually have more miles than you would see on a motorhome before we need to get into them. We build our own heads in house at a considerably lower cost than a recon head. Excessive valve guide clearance seems to be the issue that pushes us to exchange the head. Even if they aren't worn to the limit, we want to get new guides and valves in the head to get the maximum life out of it.
In our feet of over 100 of the 8.3/8.9 engines, I have yet to see a cracked head or anything that would cause one to fail a pressure test.(the term "would not pressure test to specs" makes no sense to me .. either it has a specific problem that you can detect or it passes a pressure test) I have also not seen a fuel pump that needed replaced due to leakage.
The best thing that I can recommend to protect yourself is to have them show you the problem with the part and explain why it needs to be replaced. Any honest shop should do this without hesitation especially when they are asking you to lay out thousands of dollars.
Doug