FRIZBEE1......I've worked a lot on my exhaust brake because Monaco never wired it correctly and the exhaust brake flapper didn't engaged for years. I've read through your post and the responses several times and they are very confusing or I'm brain farting. The referral back to your first numbers of what happens is what's confusing.
First.....is this coach new to you and did this just start happening?
Second.....how do you know the exhaust brake flapper isn't closing if you can feel the transmission is downshifting?
Third.....Has your computer ever been updated to change how your exhaust brake works. Yours initially was designed to engage the moment you turn it on and your foot is removed from the brake pedal. Mine was the same and I later changed it to engage when the brake pedal was tapped and disengage when the throttle was tapped (computer change). When my exhaust brake switch is on, I can't use cruise control (different on newer models).