Ro646a, my condolences to you and your family. I lost my wife eleven years ago. We returned the tickets for our big trip to Europe when she was diagnosed with cancer. Should have gone anyhow… You folks did the right thing .
I know your pain. With time you will sort things out. That is part of the healing process.. It took me four years of sorting before I bought my first RV so I could travel with my dog. That was one of my better decisions.
If you do not have one, you may want to consider a critter to talk to and take care of. My dog knows more about me than anyone else.
peace…