so...is MS Defender really as bad as so many say?

Based on the title of your thread, yes? Why, because even a Microsoft security rep acknowledged a few years ago that MS Security Essentials, aka MS Defender now, was meant to offer "baseline" protection. And that MS provides security data to third party AV software developers to build upon. This has been pointed out by major independent security testing firms who have repeatedly reviewed MS Defender/Security Essentials scoring the lowest of all major AV packages reviewed for detection, also referred to as protection. Which is not surprising for AV designed as baseline protection. So should not be unexpected.

I've never used Kaspersky, but this would not be the first time an AV company or principle individual been accused of similar practices. Another well know AV security firm was accused of doing the same over a decade ago.