Irish4, I commend you for bringing this problem forward so that others might learn from your experience.
I went to an RV Show in Atlanta a couple of years ago, and looking at a Teton fifth wheel, some one asked if he could use a half ton pickup to pull the trailer, and salesman said yes!
I also commend you for not putting you and family's and maybe some one else life in danger. Most of us have been through the same thing at some time in the past. I have pulled trailers with equipment onboard and slid through intersections, sliding on gravel.
Not a good feeling!
Thanks again, and hope things work out for you. Good luck and happy holidays to you and everone.