We just got home from our Memorial Day campout at a commercial/private campground. Unlike your experience, we thoroughly enjoyed being there. As we no longer travel with children, it was refreshing to hear them laughing at the lake and talking as the walked or rode their bikes around to the playground. Nobody was yelling, cursing, or playing loud music. If they were drinking, the kept it to themselves.
We chose this campground because we know the owners well. They don't put up with loud, raucous partiers. They run a family place and people who disturb the peace aren't allowed to stay long. Our only complaint this weekend is that it rained out our weinie roast.