Anyone else not full timing because of the grand kids?

Only reason I'm not fulltiming is because the DW wants to be near her unmarried mother who is early stages of dementia.

We are "obsessed" with our grandkids, heck with our entire family. We have always been a camping family. We retired early at 56 and 55 and are now going on 5 years of full timing. With the mortgage being paid off next year we could not have retired 5 years ago without having renters paying the house off (Southern California). Working would have limited face time with the now 4 and 2 year olds. When we get back in the area usually for a month it's every day. Also the family usually picks a spot interesting we are at and drives or fly's to us if we're gone extended times. So far it has worked out well for us.

This is a very diifficult situation. While the grandchildren are very young we want to be there for them, which is a pinnacle time to build the relationship and to love on them without resistance. However, they do turn into TEENAGERS and they don't need or want us in their lives as much ( or so it seems).
So in the meantime before they reach THOSE teenage years, I take trips that don't required me to be away longer than a month and I FaceTime each night.
At a time in this world when there is so much evil and meanness, a loving Grandparent is much needed, but you also need your time to enjoy your spouse. Don't feel guilty if you do go away.
Unfortunately, my husband is deceased, so I solo. I'd give anything to share special times with him.
Hope this helped.

Just be like my inlaws. They don't like grandkids. They're good for a couple days at a time with them that's about it. Cramps their casino schedule! Seriously.....

Awww...

Hello,

We bought our first (and only) Rv in 2007. As I was a teacher and my husband a retired police officer we were able to travel all summer. We have done 4 trips to the west seeing so much of our country.We have traveled all over New England staying at many places especially our 2 favorite campgrounds....adults only.. Lake Forest In NH and Wild Duck in Maine We have also done many many trips along the eastern seaboard including staying in The Keys on numerous occasions. We did a cruise every February during Feb vacation. And we also went away in April( The Keys, Virginia Beach, Grand Cayman) during April vacation.

We talked a lot about snow birding in Florida when I retired. Maybe full timing and about traveling back to the west to see things we didn't get a chance to see. We have 2 grown daughters who showed no sign or inclination to marry and or have children. We had accepted that we would never be grandparents.

BUT......4 years ago my older daughter connected with a former classmate (both 34 years old) and got married and in July 2013 had our grandson Malcolm in July 2013. They live only 2 minutes from us. He is the true love of my life. And his Papa is just over the moon having a grandson.We love him so much and he loves us so much it brings tears to my eyes.

We have him at our house at least 4 days a week.I retired in June 2014 and can't imagine any place, anywhere, anytime that I would rather be than with my loving, funny, smart and wonderful grandson. And my husband feels the same way. We have gone on RV trips and cruises since he has blessed our lives. We just got back from 6 weeks in Florida including a 5 day cruise out of Tampa. We both would have probably stayed in Florida until March but we both missed Malcolm so so much that we came home to ice, cold and snow here in the north east.

We are also so very fortunate to be having another grandson in April. So no long or long distant trips for a while. But that is fine with me and Papa. To be so lucky to have this grandchild and another on the way is the joy of our lives. As a teacher I watched hundreds of students grow and change and have children of their own...some of which I also had in class. I know that very soon Malcolm and eventually Finn will be involved in their own lives. Too soon.

We also feel very lucky to have had the opportunity to see so much of this beautiful and interesting country. But nothing can compare to a hug and kiss and an "I love you" from our grandson. My daughter said he missed us very much this time we were away and would wake up and ask when we were coming home.

My suggestion is to listen to your heart. My grandmother lived downstairs from us in our 2 family house. I spent untold, countless hours with her. I want my grandsons to know that I am always there for them no matter what..as my Nana was for me and my sisters.

ulvik wrote:
Me and my wife have had RVs for years and always dreamed of fulltimimg around this beautiful country. But when the time came that we were able to we could not bring ourselves to do it.
Last year we gave it a trial run for three months and it about killed us because we missed our grand children soooo much. We had no other issues and loved the traveling but missing the little buggers was the only reason we don't think we could do it.
We tried our best to stay in touch by phone and Skype but the lack of a good hug was heartbreaking. Anyone else feel this same way and if you did go ahead and became fulltimers how on earth did you handle the pain of being away?

My goodness, some posters are making it sound like your love and participation in your family is a bad thing :) The grandkids are not holding you hostage, it is merely your wish to remain around your family more than leaving for very long chunks of time.

there is no right or wrong on this....you do as you guys want to do!

you thought full time was your dream and found out it really was not. Not a thing wrong with that. Don't push full time on yourself if you really don't want it, travel as you see fit. 3 weeks and missing home, come on back :) or any way you guys want to fill in your travel life.

RV and full time is not mandatory :) :) Sure some want it very bad and go for it and enjoy, many others do not full time and fit in their RV travel life in with how they want to schedule their days.

in the end, do whatever you want!!

Grandkids are useful if you need strong young retainers and women to marry off to cement alliances.

ulvik wrote:
Last year we gave it a trial run for three months and it about killed us because we missed our grand children soooo much. We had no other issues and loved the traveling but missing the little buggers was the only reason we don't think we could do it.

DownTheAvenue wrote:
To each their own, but being that attached is extreme to me. What are you going to do a a few short years when they have no time for you? Their friends and activities will consume them and you will be, to them at least, a bother. I think it is unhealthy to be that consumed with the need to "see" them.

Agree completely. Although the OP is talking about grand kids the same argument applies to one's own "kids" - it doesn't take long at all before they all develop their own lives and we as parents (and grandparents) have no right to limit that growth. Read the OP's post again and it's all about "we", what they want as grandparents, nothing about what the grandchildren want. No doubt the grand kids like to see their grandparents from time to time but those are the key words - from time to time. To the OP - it's not just about you. ;)

Grand kids are wonderfulllll.... until they get over 12 years old. Then it starts. They want to hang with kids there own ages, they want to avoid contact with adults. They don't want the grand parents hanging around (unless we are paying) then "can you just pay and go have coffee?"

They have lives and they will grow up and move to get the job they want or the college or the wife/husband they want... If you stay for years and wait until they get BIG then you are going to end up with Great Grand Kids that will again stop you from your goals of seeing the world.

Just go and if you HAVE TO then fly them out during the summer and back when school starts. DO NOT LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR THE KIDS....