extrovert/introvert

Naio wrote:
My ex used to say that when something changes, people need time to 'regrouch' -- a combination of grouching and mentally regrouping :B.

I like that. So true, really.

This is a very interesting thread. My dream is to RV full time when we retire. That doesn't mean traveling ALL the time but I would like to live in an RV with a home base shop and travel to places staying long term. DH refuses. He says that he will no longer enjoy "camping" if we live in an RV full time. It's a good thing we have about 15 years to figure this out. ;)

As far as friends go, we have three other couples that we spend most of our friend time with. Thankfully, we all love camping. Two of us own lots in a private camping ground and another couple just bought the lot next to us so now there are three couples with lots and the fourth couple camps with us when they can. We also spend time together away from camping and I like to think that we would travel together in retirement years too.

DH and I love spending time together, whether it be vacations, day trips, just sitting next to each other, etc., but I imagine that we would miss our friends/family after a month or two.

I'm sorry to hear about those who are having conflict with their partners over travel.

Is it possible they just need time to get used to the idea? Either the idea of you going alone, or them coming with you, or some combo where you go for a long trip and they fly out to visit (maybe in a nice hotel)?

My ex used to say that when something changes, people need time to 'regrouch' -- a combination of grouching and mentally regrouping :B. Maybe the grouching part is not the end of the conversation.

rolling_rhoda wrote:
My DH will never enjoy travel as much as I do. He lives to work. He has many friends and business acquaintances, while I have a few handfuls of dear friends.

....I have been dreaming of seeing America for years. Initially, DH didn't want to discuss something so far off. Then he was uncomfortable with the notion of taking off with the kids just starting college (um, 500 miles from home). Next was the whole conversation about how RV snowbirding really isn't a two-week, 4000 mile round trip to Florida. It's more like being gone for few months....I'm disappointed that I won't have someone to share my travels with.....

I could almost write this, except change DH to DW. She likes to travel she says... Cruise Ship, Hilton, Flying, but when it comes to the MH and campgrounds....not so much I think, she stays inside most of the time (too hot/cold/bugs/wind/etc..)
She is outgoing and talks to about anyone that will lesson, but not while camping. Also like what she does for work and the kids/grandkids, and her garden are the important parts. Can't leave any of them for more than a few days. When I told her I wanted to retire and travel a few months, she freaked. You want me to retire too and leave the house? Only for a couple of months... Oh I don't know about that who's going to take care of all the stuff and the garden and the grandkids and ....

So if "we" go it looks like it will be solo. I know only be gone a a week and then back home for her, right? That does not work for me... drive out 600+miles in a week, turn around and come back home, just to turn around and drive back again... sound counter productive. Anyway we will see....in 16 months, but right now my thoughts are: HAVE A NICE TRIP.

Quartermoon

Excellent post. Open discussion and compromise is key. As the song goes "you can't always get what you want, but if you try real hard sometimes you get what you need"

Guilt is a very negative emotion. It is destructive rather than constructive.

Safe travels

I totally understand where Mrs Goldwing is coming from. I'm a social person, but there's a difference between your true friends, and the people you meet and talk with while camping. To me, your true friends are almost like your family - and leaving them should not be taken lightly. Friends are valuable. It doesn't make sense to say "I'll just leave my (member of your family) because they'll be there when I get back and I'll find a new one along the way". Friends have a different level of value to different people, and you can't just tell her to go find new ones. One thing that keeps us in the "weekender" category is that our core social group is based at home. I'm not ready to say goodbye, but that's not saying that I never will. Life evolves. Right now I love getting away a little bit, and then coming back.

It does sound like they have different visions for what their golden years look like, and I don't know what to do about that. Clearly, some compromise on both parts is in order. I've seen other couples in that position - who thinks of discussing that when you're young and in love?

Mrs Goldwing does not need to feel guilty because her idea of a good life means grandkids, friends, etc. Mr Goldwing doesn't need to feel guilty because to him it doesn't. The key here is to not let the whole situation fester - get everything out in the open and start discussing solutions. There's one in there somewhere. Each party can have what they want (at least sometimes), and the other party needs to be happy for them and not use guilt as a tool. Each one may discover things they didn't know about themselves and what they want out of life. Or maybe they don't.

klr650goldwing wrote:
Once we retire (2yrs) we plan to take the 5er and travel to every nation park and many historic points around the country. This morning she expressed concern about leaving all her friends for such a long time. Has anyone else had issues with this?

Do whatever you both are comfortable with.

klr650goldwing wrote:
Hi, I'm the spouse in question. My Beloved actually set up the wrong situation. It's not at all that I want to stay home with my friends. He is much more of a homebody than I am. I love going new places and meeting new people. But I need to TALK to them, not just meet them. Beloved is an introvert. He will be happy, just the two of us seeing some sights, taking a nap in the afternoon, maybe a little FaceBook time. I, on the other hand am most definitely an extrovert. I get my energy from being with people. My fear is that his company, as wonderful as it is, will not be enough to keep me energized and happy. Unlike full-time boaters (friend of ours) who have really only one "trail" and can run into others they've met, we RVers have the whole country and may never see anyone twice. I NEED to be able to sit and socialize most days, if not every day.

I'm wondering if there are any other extroverts traveling with introverts, who may have some good ideas for us.

Interesting thread. And a fascinating example of how conflicts are often based in misunderstanding!

I am an introvert, and every partner I have had has been one. To me, being an introvert means having a few deep friendships instead of a lot of less close ones.

Traveling by myself last winter was one of the few times in my life I have been lonely. It got better, though, when I started to pay more attention to making space for social interaction with strangers I met, and responding to their friendly overtures. This year I will try to focus on that a bit, from the beginning.

I'm encouraged by people here talking about running into the same RV friends/acquaintances in different places. That makes my introverted self more willing to put out the effort to get to know people.

Ms Goldwing, if we run into each other somewhere, I'd be happy to sit and have a real conversation with you :).

Joking aside. Maybe you will miss out on a great adventure. You friends will be there when you get back. As you travel around there are an endless number of people to meet. Some can be 5 minutes of chit chat and some can be longer term friendships.

You can meet many new people and bring those stories back and share it with your friends at home.

It's amazing how many people I run into. I can ride my bicycle around some small town and stop to talk to people and end up hearing stories about the town and good places to go. When you tell people where you live they may have no idea at all or their cousin could live down the road from you. So many different people and so many interesting stories. I was riding around this tiny town yesterday and started talking to a guy who has a house with a cold war era bomb shelter in his yard. I remember seeing them for sale at displays at the state fair when I was a kid and wanted my Dad to put one in our yard. This guy told us where we could go to photograph old farm buildings and such.

Two years ago we stayed at Bettys RV park in Abbeville LA. We went to the opening of Abbeyvilles summer concert series in the town square. It was a mix of zydeco and reglur ole stuff but it was a fantastic evening. A stage and dance area sit under massive trees near the courthouse.

I have spent the evening around campfires with people who were hiking the Florida and the Appalachian trails. I asked one young guy how he survived and he pulled out this little banjo ish guitar thing and started singing. We didn't cook him dinner but I did give him beer. He finished the evening with "On the road again".

These last years are good years, our golden years so get out there and go. You will love it. As you get the hang of it and find your favorite places maybe your friends can join you for awhile. You can have it all or darn close.

IF you don't hide inside your RV you will have plenty of opportunities for TALKING

Sit outside, wave , say HOWDY and others will stop and chat.

Go for a walk thru CG and stop and chat.

And don't be surprised at the new friends you end up meeting and staying in touch with.

Our 1st yr. on the road we met a couple ....... couple months later 1000 miles from where we originally met we run into them again. And again, and again. Same with others out traveling.

Still keep in touch, meet up occasionally 8 yrs later

Not at all difficult to meet/greet folks. Unless you don't want to.