Help with Backing Up

Rice wrote:

Rover_Bill wrote:
DW has no patience and blows her top when I tell her - turn right, left, right. She screams: Why don't you make up your mind which way to turn can't you see where I'm going?

Well that's a new one to me.

I would think people would relish having the "expert" tell them which way to turn, and simply follow the directions. Who cares if you're turning left right left right left? Just do what you're told.

Either it gets done perfectly because it's the expert doing everything but actually handling the wheel (which face it, a monkey could be trained to do), or the expert gets humbled because it doesn't work.

No skin off the wheel handler's nose in any event, which sounds like a win to me.

ETA: And when I say do what you're told, I mean verbally, not hand signals. Tell the wheel handler which direction to turn the wheel, how much to turn the wheel, and have them stop between each repositioning of the wheel so you can check the tires and make sure it's set up right for the next maneuver. Almost like operating the RV via remote control. It should make for perfect results every time.

Few people like to be told what to do. Especially when the one telling them thinks they are an "expert" and that they are so good that they can give those directions to any monkey and get it done right.

Gdetrailer wrote:

seagrace wrote:
Thank you, Rice, that is exactly the issue. I have no problem with letting her wander off and doing it myself, it just means I have to jump out of the truck a few more times to get it right.

I would rather we do this as a team and work out how to do it, and I would rather she have some experience backing - just in case there is a time when she will need to do it without me. I think the next trip out, I'm gonna let her take the wheel.

FWIW - yes, backing a boat/trailer is far easier when, 1. I've already lined up the truck, and/or 2. There is no boat on the trailer - she's a whiz at that ;-)

You missed the point.

While I don't mind "working as a team" the problem is if BOTH "members" of the team do not instinctively understand backing up then neither members of that "team" will be able to help effectively.

In other words, your wife does not fully understand what direction you must turn the wheel to make it go the direction needed. If she does understand then her "signals" WILL be MORE EFFECTIVE to you.

Best way to do it is to both learn how to back it up with a trailer.

But the only way to do this is to start with the basics and that is both need to learn how to put a vehicle in a crowded parking space.

Each one of you NEEDs to learn what you can and cannot see in the mirrors.

Once you both have solo backing memorized adding the trailer becomes much easier not just for you but your "team".

In other words, if you are the primary driver, you really should be able to at least be able to park it solo, sometimes you may have to do it that way anyway..

PRACTICE.

I agree with both of Gdetrailers posts completely. You really do need more practice, and she should try backing up also. I am not being condescending, so please don't take me wrong. With practice you both will get much more comfortable. The camp site isn't the place to practice though.

I will share our own experience.

My wife was a city kid. I am a farm kid, farm kids usually know how to back up, because they start young. I know this isn't always the case, but usually it is.

We got to the campground, and there was no one there. Literally,
NO ONE. There was no audience, so I told her to back the trailer in. She didn't want to get yelled at, so I told her she had all evening, and I would stop her if she were about to hit something, or drive off the pad. I made her start from the road, and it was a blind side back, (camp site on the right hand side of the road) which is the most difficult. She was very nervous, but started trying. There was a lot of forward and backward movements, but she kept trying. After several (quite a few) minutes, I told her to stop! She asked what was wrong, and I told her nothing was wrong, I needed another beer out of the fridge. She did finally get it into the spot before I needed to stop her again. ;)

She was not happy with me for that, but now she understands that when I am backing up, she has to be where she can see me in the mirrors, and that I can not see the top of the camper, so she knows to look out for branches etc. I still get thumped in the arm when I bring that up, but it helped us both tremendously. I can back into literally any spot I think I can fit into, and now I know that I can trust her to watch out for what I can't see, because she remembers what it takes to back our 5er up.

That, and the fact that sometime she might NEED to be able to do it, if I get sick or something.

Like I said, practice, and have her try to back it up also, even if she protests.

Some years ago, we were in a campground with one difficult spot left to park in. Along comes a couple, with a fifth, I bet they wouldn't get in as a ditch was part of the backup area, but....he jumped out, she moved over, he motioned from the front of the truck which way she was to turn. She only looked at him, and together she backed the fifth in, the truck through the ditch, all while doing as he pointed,smooth as you please.
Now....if I could teach my woman that.....

Rover_Bill wrote:
DW has no patience and blows her top when I tell her - turn right, left, right. She screams: Why don't you make up your mind which way to turn can't you see where I'm going?

Well that's a new one to me.

I would think people would relish having the "expert" tell them which way to turn, and simply follow the directions. Who cares if you're turning left right left right left? Just do what you're told.

Either it gets done perfectly because it's the expert doing everything but actually handling the wheel (which face it, a monkey could be trained to do), or the expert gets humbled because it doesn't work.

No skin off the wheel handler's nose in any event, which sounds like a win to me.

ETA: And when I say do what you're told, I mean verbally, not hand signals. Tell the wheel handler which direction to turn the wheel, how much to turn the wheel, and have them stop between each repositioning of the wheel so you can check the tires and make sure it's set up right for the next maneuver. Almost like operating the RV via remote control. It should make for perfect results every time.

My DW does some of the driving. Long days & usually the boring wide open quiet roads. She has tried backing the trailer. That did not go over very well but at least it gave an appreciation that backing a 5er is not like parking truck only.

She has the room required for slides right down. Arm length. How often do people park just right then find that they did not leave room for slides?

From our boating days she has the basics of handling a single engined 32' inboard boat down pretty good too.

that's why backup cameras are great,, even for a travel trailer you can get a Bluetooth version ...

seagrace wrote:
Thank you, Rice, that is exactly the issue. I have no problem with letting her wander off and doing it myself, it just means I have to jump out of the truck a few more times to get it right.

I would rather we do this as a team and work out how to do it, and I would rather she have some experience backing - just in case there is a time when she will need to do it without me. I think the next trip out, I'm gonna let her take the wheel.

FWIW - yes, backing a boat/trailer is far easier when, 1. I've already lined up the truck, and/or 2. There is no boat on the trailer - she's a whiz at that ;-)

I think giving her experience in backing is very helpful.

And going over specific hand signals BEFORE starting to back in. I will ignore someone who starts directing me without providing a verbal "I'm going to tell you which way to move the trailer" because I've had people giving me directions on turning my wheel instead.

And with that, telling her exactly where you want the trailer to end up. I've had people come over to help me back up into my driveway only to have them put my trailer dead up against the fence so I can't access my dump tanks, propane and such. Not sure how they think they're helping if they don't know where I want to end up. (I just ignore them completely now and do my own thing while they start waving hysterically).

seagrace wrote:
Thank you, Rice, that is exactly the issue. I have no problem with letting her wander off and doing it myself, it just means I have to jump out of the truck a few more times to get it right.

I would rather we do this as a team and work out how to do it, and I would rather she have some experience backing - just in case there is a time when she will need to do it without me. I think the next trip out, I'm gonna let her take the wheel.

FWIW - yes, backing a boat/trailer is far easier when, 1. I've already lined up the truck, and/or 2. There is no boat on the trailer - she's a whiz at that ;-)

You missed the point.

While I don't mind "working as a team" the problem is if BOTH "members" of the team do not instinctively understand backing up then neither members of that "team" will be able to help effectively.

In other words, your wife does not fully understand what direction you must turn the wheel to make it go the direction needed. If she does understand then her "signals" WILL be MORE EFFECTIVE to you.

Best way to do it is to both learn how to back it up with a trailer.

But the only way to do this is to start with the basics and that is both need to learn how to put a vehicle in a crowded parking space.

Each one of you NEEDs to learn what you can and cannot see in the mirrors.

Once you both have solo backing memorized adding the trailer becomes much easier not just for you but your "team".

In other words, if you are the primary driver, you really should be able to at least be able to park it solo, sometimes you may have to do it that way anyway..

PRACTICE.

I find it helpful to show my spotter the path I’d like the trailer wheels to take from the road to the final resting place. When they know that they can tell me “cut” or “follow” to keep it on track the whole way.

Sorry, apparently I'm not allowed to post relevant content.