Update: we're ready for testing!
Tow bar: I bought and installed a Smitty Bilt tow bar (+ 4 safety chains), cost around $160.
Lighting: I bought and installed the Roadmaster kit, which comes with 2 bulbs that install right into the Jeep's light housing, cost around $52
http://www.etrailer.com/Tow-Bar-Wiring/Jeep/TJ/2002/RM-155.html?vehicleid=20021137177
Brake: I got a BrakeBuddy classic with the breakaway system, cost around $850 new.
To hook up the lighting (4 prong) on the Roadmaster kit (on the Wrangler) to the RV (7 prong), I got a connector from O'Reilly that goes from the 7 prong to a 7 prong + 4 prong, cost around $16. (needed because we need the 7 prong for the truck camper)
Total spent: $1,078
Now it's on to testing the whole deal ...